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Round-the-clock newborn care can turn your life upside down. Use these practical strategies to handle the new stress in your life.

By Mayo Clinic staff 

A newborn can bring a whirlwind of activity and excitement to your life — and plenty of stress and fatigue as well. Whether you're a first-time parent or a seasoned veteran, consider 10 practical strategies to keep stress under control.

1. Take care of yourself

Resist the urge to count caffeine as a major food group or a substitute for sleep. Instead, eat a healthy diet, drink plenty of water and get some fresh air. Sleep when the baby sleeps — and work out a nighttime schedule with your partner that allows both of you to rest and care for the baby. Do something you enjoy every day, either with your baby or on your own. Good habits will help you maintain the energy you need to care for your newborn.

2. Establish visiting rules

Friends and loved ones may come out of the woodwork to admire your newborn. Let them know which days work best and how much time you have for a visit. Insist that visitors wash their hands before holding the baby, and ask anyone who's ill to stay home. Don't be afraid to set aside your social graces, either. Let trusted visitors care for the baby while you get some much needed rest.

3. Go with the flow

It's never too early to establish a routine — but let your newborn set the pace. Allow plenty of time each day for nursing sessions, naps and crying spells. Keep scheduled activities to a minimum. When you need to head out, give yourself extra time to pack your supplies and change the inevitable out-the-door dirty diaper.

4. Expect a roller coaster of emotions

You may go from adoring your baby and marveling at tiny fingers and toes to grieving your loss of independence and worrying about your ability to care for a newborn, all in the space of a single diaper change. Chances are, you and your partner are both tired and anxious as well. Talking about what's bothering you — such as a strained budget or difficulty soothing the baby — can help you stay connected. A shared laugh may help lighten the mood.

5. Relax your standards

Hide the broom and leave dust bunnies where they lie. Store clean clothes in the laundry basket until you need them — or in stacks on the floor, for that matter. Clean the bathroom with a fresh diaper wipe. Serve cold cereal and peanut butter toast for dinner when you're too tired to prepare a more traditional meal.

6. Get out of the house

If you're going stir-crazy with a fussy newborn, take the baby out for a walk. If you can, let someone you trust take over for a while.

7. Accept a helping hand

When friends and loved ones offer to help, take them up on it. Suggest holding the baby, folding the laundry, running a few errands — whatever would help you the most.

8. Nurture other relationships

Your newborn needs your love and attention, but you won't let your baby down by spending time with others. If you have other children, set aside one-on-one time with each of them. Schedule dates with your partner. Meet a friend for lunch or a movie.

9. Keep your perspective

The newborn days won't last long. Step back and appreciate the moment, even amid the chaos.

10. Know when to seek additional help

Parenting is a challenge, even on a good day. If you're depressed or you're having trouble adjusting to life with a newborn, consult your health care provider or a mental health professional. Learning to handle the new stress in your life can help you enjoy the riches parenting has to offer.

Recently we had a customer terminate their helper because the employer had lost her job. When they brought the helper in, the husband told me that his wife had lost their job so they had to let the helper go. I asked them if they would please put this in writing and they refused. If they had been willing to tell Immigration these simple facts, the helper could have stayed and almost immediately gone to work for another family. Instead she now has gone back to the Philippines and her prospects at age 40 are significantly diminished. Let's assume the lady was a "ma ma day" helper, not too good and not too bad. So what? Why not help her? Why not help a family in need of a helper now? What is so difficult about picking up the pen and writing one or two sentences to bless another person?  With the economic downturn we have had a number of employers lose their jobs, but most of them WILL NOT put it in writing, as if this will curse them forever. Can someone explain this to me? The Bible says that when we bless, we GET BLESSED. By withholding blessing we are cursing ourselves. It seems that some people are operating under a different "economy". I hope someone can explain this mindset to me.

Here are pictures of the Arrow kitchen and the delicious food our trainees have been preparing.

*Terminated!*

Terminate - Pronunciation: \tər’-mə-nət\; Function: *adjective*; Etymology:Middle English, from Latin *terminatus,* past participle of *terminare,*from*terminus*; Date: 15th century*:* coming to an end or capable of ending

 In Hong Kong this word means ending a job contract. Domestic helpers in HK would sometimes use the phrase, “bababa na ko” (I’m descending) – a metaphor for leaving a place of employment.

 The word “terminated” is particularly used when a household worker is fired from her job. Otherwise the worker would say, “I broke contract” –more Filipinese, “*nag break contract na ko*” - indicating a resignation.

We regularly encounter terminated workers. Their stories as well as reactions and attitudes vary.  Most are bitter and dejected, while some would be surprisingly happy about it. But terminations are generally an unpleasant experience.

The reasons for terminations vary as well. Most of them will cite poor performance as the culprit. But there are more reasons than mere job mediocrity.

We received a call from M*, one of our active members in church. She was asked by her employer to pack up and leave the house hastily, before the child wakes up. She placed everything she had in a sack (she had just disposed her suitcase with the plan to buy a new one). Upon receiving the required documents and termination pay, she was instructed to leave quietly.

As expected, she is confused why this has happened. Her employer had no qualms about her work; M* knew the routines and standards of her employer’s home well. And to confound the matter, the termination happened on the eve of her last month with her employer.

Sorting through the incident, she concluded that the reason is with her growing intimacy with her employers’ toddler.   For the past two years, the child has spent most of his waking hours – and even sleeping hours, with M*. The mother has typically been busy with her work that she has become virtually absent. Naturally, the toddler became more inclined to his caregiver than to his mother. Thus the employer, in order to avert the situation decided to fire M*.

When J* was terminated, her employer says it was poor performance. Later on, we learned that the termination was a way to keep the man of the house getting entangled with an attractive house help.

R* has already worked for four months and then she was terminated. But she finds herself at peace with what has happened. It was a better option than staying on. Although she speculates on the seeming failure of her higher purpose as a Christian; she sees herself as an agent of God’s blessing to her employer. She had been somewhat warned that her employer is hard to satisfy.  Equipped with determination and faith, she took it as a challenge. She persevered through weeks and months of unreasonable demands and irrational behavior. She took consolation on God’s promise of presence and her sense of mission.   She constantly prayed for the ones she worked for. She did not give up, but her employer gave up on her.  Nevertheless, she is moving on with optimism that God will set her on another household where she can still be an agent of blessing.

Those who were terminated leave their place of employment, bitter and bewildered. Most will break down at the announcement.  They would think of the money they spent to have an overseas job. Some even have loans to pay on their placement fees. They ask themselves, "is this what we get for leaving our loved ones and spending all the money we had?" To most of them, the dejected feeling would bear down on their already-tattered self-esteem.

Those terminated commonly need two things immediately: a place to stay and an ear to listen. These two needs have become an essential part of what a minister among the OFWs (Overseas Filipino Worker) here in Hong Kong has to offer.

God has blessed us to live in a flat with an extra room. This flat has become a place of refuge for those who have been displaced by termination. Often times, tired and weary they would over sleep on their first night – catching up on much needed rest. And then much time of their waking hours will be spent talking to someone they trust.

And by the Lord’s grace, Bolen and I would have the faculty to listen. By listening we observe that they go through a typical emotional cycle of a grieving person. This graphic I downloaded from the internet accurately represents the emotions the terminated go through. So we journey with them as much as we can through the cycle, punctuating it with prayers , God's Word and with quiet times of reflection.

Arrow Employment Services also do their part for these people. Arrow assists the terminated in finding a new employer for them. They also coach them on their rights and privileges. Most agencies would have nothing to do with the terminated. Besides their services given only up to the point when they are placed.

 This model is adapted from Kubler-Ross’s grief cycle.

 Please do continue to pray for us that we -not only for Jorge and Bolen- but for all of us who serve OFWs - that we may be channels of God's grace to those who have been terminated.

Below is a link and an excerpt from an interesting news article about OFWs spoiling their kids.  It is difficult for OFWs not to spoil their children, because they feel guilty over leaving them to work abroad. As a result, they over compensate, and spoil the kids, giving in to their every whim.  How can a worker avoid this "spoiling syndrome"? By sitting down with the whole family and having a clear financial goal, e.g., "We are going to save 200,000 pesos and buy a house.  Until we reach that goal, all other expenses will be kept to a minimum. Do we all agree?" One of our 2010 goals for Arrow is to implement financial counselling for the families of OFWs before they come to HK. If we can achieve this goal, we think it will make a big difference in their lives.

PHILIPPINES: Belt-tightening by Migrant Workers Unfelt at Home By Tess Bacalla*

BATANGAS, Philippines, Dec 18 (IPS) - The global financial crisis may have dealt a severe blow to Filipino migrant workers, thousands of whom lost their jobs and fell into debt. But public schoolteacher Melinda Mendoza does not see this impact at all -- at least not within the four walls of her classroom.

On the contrary, Mendoza, 45, is bothered no end by her pupils’ ostentatious display of opulence in a poor rural setting, where luxury is atypical. 

"They have huge allowances," says the teacher of 21 years in the government-run Pulong Anahao Elementary School, located in the town of Mabini here in Batangas province, a two-hour drive south of Manila. 

On top of that, the students own electronic gadgets like mobile phones that are no match to those of a public school teacher like Mendoza. She earns a measly few thousands of pesos a month, hardly enough to buy a high-end unit that is a status symbol in this South-east Asian country, at least 30 percent of whose 90 million people live in poverty.