Should you care about the state of your helper's marriage? If you are a decent person the answer is clearly "YES!" And surprisingly, if you are a selfish Prig, the answer is still "YES!"
Almost all our customers tell us they want a helper who will stay for more than 1 contract. At the very least, they want their helper to finish her contract. They also prefer to hire happily marriaged women.
Question 1: Would you still be happily married if your husband didn't see you for 2 years? Do you think your helper will still be happily married if her husband doesn't see her for 2 years?
Some of my family are in long distance relationships, with a spouse or boyfriend working in another country. It is really stressful. My wife and I pray for them every day.
Question 2: If your helpers marriage starts to break down, how do you think it will effect her job performance? Under those circumstances do you think she will complete her contract?
Here is the part where it doesn't matter if you are a decent person or are motivated purely by self interest (My wife says I shouldn't say "selfish prig"). Helpers resign from their jobs to go home and try and save their marriages, or to find caregivers for their children after their marriage has crumbled under the pressure of working overseas.
Question 3: Is there something you can do to help your helper stay happily married?
Disclaimer: 50% of marriages fail according to statistics, so there is no ironclad guarantee that any relationship will last for a lifetime. Having said that, there are definitely some things you can do to improve your helper's chance of staying happily married.
- Give her a set time everyday to chat with her family. Talk with her about the best 2-3 times of the day where she could talk to her husband and kids for 30 minutes. Choose a time that works for both you and her, then stick to it.
- Plan for her to go home to the Philippines 2 times a year. The Philippines is only 2 hours away. There is NO reason she shouldn't be able to go home 2 times a year. Even a long weekend will refresh her family relationships.
- Go to cebupacificair.com and sign up for their "seat sale" emails. Share them with your helper and buy the tickets ahead of time.
- Salary deduct in advance for the price of the ticket. It is the helper's responsibility to pay for her ticket.
- Give her a few hours off to go to Philippines Consulate for her OEC so she won't have problems on the return leg.
- Send some small presents home to her family to say "thank you for sharing your wife and mother with our family."
- Ask your helper to agree to a birth control shot before she leaves to make sure she doesn't get pregnant on her trip.
- Don't constantly remind your helper about "how good you treat her compared to other employers" or complain about the time she spends with her family. Sometimes we think we deserve a halo for doing the right thing. Remember, even if you are a selfish prig, helping your helper stay happily married helps you keep a valuable employee. In the long run, you will reap many blessings.