Arrow ladies use skype to contact their families and friends in the Philippines. They need to stay connected. If you have a computer or wifi at home, please consider allowing them to get online once a week for 1/2 hour chat with family, before going out on their day off.]]>It doesn't matter if you are employer or employee, husband or wife, parent or child -- you have the power to change your relationships, to make them better. The key is: You yourself have to change! I know you are thinking, "I'm not the one who needs to change." "I'm the boss, she should change, not me." Look at it this way: If you are the boss, then you are the leader. You should set the tone, set the example. You are the powerful one. Change your world, by changing yourself.
Have you ever played one of those games where everyone crisscrosses their hands and then has to try to untangle themselves into a circle without breaking contact? We are connected to each other. If I try to change you, it won't work. You will feel belittled, dis-respected and resentful. BUT, if I change myself, the way I treat you, the way I react to your bad behavior, etc., I WILL EFFECT YOU. We cannot directly change others, but we can indirectly effect or change them by changing ourselves.
To put it another way: it's like math. 5+5=10. But what if I become an 8? 8 + ? = 10. People around us automatically adjust to changes in us. It's like dancing, change the way you lead, and your partner will eventually change too. (Of course, they may step on your feet a few times in the process of learning the new dance.)
Why not try an experiment? Read my article on "How to give feedback without becoming a nag" Change the way you give feedback to your employee. Follow the guidelines strictly, and avoid all questions like "Why did you ....?" which are "blame questions", and focus on the event, the outcome, and the change you would like to see. Try it for 30 days, and see if your relationship doesn't improve. You may also want to try it with your spouse, and kids.
Let me know how it goes, won't you?
]]>Allan Smith
]]>The purpose of feedback: It's about future behavior, NOT past behavior. The purpose of feedback is NOT to berate or criticize your employee for past mistakes. The entire purpose is to help them perform better in the FUTURE.
The timing of feedback: Feedback should be given within one week of the event. If you wait too long, the employee won't remember the event. If you forget, don't worry, the employee is likely to do the same thing again.
Ask permission to give feedback: I can hear some of our customers now thinking "No way! I'm the boss. I'll give feedback when I want to give feedback." Well, this advice may fall on deaf ears, but feedback will be better received if you ask permission first. What does it cost you to be polite and say, "Polly, I want to give you some feedback on dinner last night. Have you got a few minutes?"
Focus on Behavior and Outcomes: Do NOT talk about motives. You don't know their heart. Assume they have a good heart, that they are here to serve you well and provide for their family in the process. Talk about behavior and outcomes, then tell them what behavior needs to change or be continued.
"Polly, I want to talk to you about this morning. Have you got a minute? Yesterday you woke up at 6:30 instead of 6:00. Because you were late, I had to help get the kids out the door, and I myself was late to work. Your late rising caused me to experience a lot of pressure and stress, and to be late to work myself. In the future, I expect you to be up by 6 a.m. OK? Thank you."
" Polly, can I talk to you about dinner last night? I thought the soup was really delicious. I hope that next time you'll make it just that way again. In the stir fry, the celery was chopped too thick. The result was that it was not cooked properly and was hard to chew and swallow. Next time please cut the celery 1/2 again as small. Do you understand what I mean? Would you like me to show you the technique for chopping the vegetables again? Thanks."
"Polly, I want to talk to you about the laundry. When you ironed the clothes, you burned my blouse. I bought that blouse when I was in Canada last summer, and it is one of my favorites. Now I won't be able to enjoy wearing it, and I won't be able to find another like it here in Hong Kong. I'm also going to have to spend time and money to buy a replacement. Next time, I need you to read the label (show her the label) on each garment before you iron it. If it says "don't iron", please don't iron it. If it says "iron on low heat" use the low heat setting (show her on the iron). Do you understand what I need from you? Thanks."
Read the above examples outloud. How long did it take? Feedback doesn't need to take a long time. If you're talking more than 1 or 2 minutes, you are probably talking too much. Don't vent your emotions on your employees. Focus on behaviors, outcomes and expected change. You should be able to smile when you give feedback. If you feel emotional, then wait for a time when you are calm to give feedback. Why don't you give it a try and let me know how it goes.
Allan @ Arrow
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Pastor Alex lives and serves God and people in Cagayan de Oro, one of the areas worst hit by the recent flooding. Here is his report on what conditions are like now:
"Cagayan-de-Oro was hit by a strong typhoon last Friday, Dec 16. It was the most destructive and tragic calamity in the history of our city. As of today there were already 957 dead, 50 are still missing and more than 40,000 homeless temporarily sheltered in Public Schools and Village Centers.
From our Cell Groups there were 6 children dead, 5 adults dead, 22 people missing and 185 families lost their homes. Heavily damaged are the Congregation of Homer in Consolacion and the Congregation of Reynante in Macasandig. Large portion of the city has no electricity and no water supply for two days now because the city water reservoir was damaged.
Our family and most of the Church members are okay and busy helping the flood victims. We are using all our Church vehicles to deliver water every morning and afternoon from our home to the victims. The city government used the local fire trucks to deliver water but was not enough.
The immediate needs right now are the following:
1. Potable Water
2. Food (Milk for children)
3. Medicine (Anti-Bacterial, Anti-Diarrheal, Fever and Cold, Skin infection)
4. Beddings (Blanket, Mats and Mosquito Nets)
5. Rubber Thongs
Thanks for your prayers and continuous support.
Alex & Cynthia (alexeduave@yahoo.com)"
How Can You Help?
Send Cheque (ONLY accept US$ Cheque):
CCMN, 3/F, no. 10 Anchor Street, Tai Kok Tsui, Kowloon, Hong Kong.
(Please write down clearly “Support Philippines” and write down your name, email and contact no.)
Please state the name “Cell Church Missions Network” on the cheque clearly.
Send TT:
Here is our bank account information:
Name of Bank: Hang Seng Bank Limited
Address of Bank: Head Office, 83 Des Voeux Road, Central, Hong Kong
Swift Code: HASE HKHH
Name of Account: Cell Church Missions Network
Account No.: 227-257979-668
Bank Code: 024
(Please write down clearly “Support Philippines”
and write down your name, email and contact no.)
If you have any enquiry, please contact CCMN email: (ccmndanielchan@gmail.com / ccmnkathy@gmail.com) or phone no.: (852) 2772-4760
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Today is "All Saint's Day" and in the Philippines it is one of the most important holidays. Filipinos will flock to the cemetaries by the thousands and picnic with their loved ones who have passed away. It is similar to the "Grave Sweeping" Holiday in Hong Kong. Businesses and shopping malls will all be closed, so it is not possible for Arrow to arrange interviews or do any processing over there until the resumption of business on Thursday morning.
Above left is a Heroes Graveyard. Below right is a "condominium" of bone crypts. In public cemetaries bones are dug up after 5 years, cleaned and moved to a "bone crypt. Public graveyards are so crowded that there are no walkways, so people visiting graves have to walk across graves. Sometimes the graves are poorly made, and your foot will go through the top cover into the grave. See photo below left.
Do you drink "fair trade" coffee? The "fair trade" movement is an attempt to ensure that producers in poor countries are fairly compensated for their work, their produce etc., rather than being taken advantage of by huge corporations who want to pay as little as possible for the coffee, clothing, electronics, etc., that the turn around and sell to the rest of the world.
The "fair trade" movement's success depends on the awareness of consumers and their willingness to pay more for a product than the current "market price". Recently I visited a supermarket in the USA that carried many fair trade products. The coffee beans they had for sale averaged US$18-20/lb. If I shop in my local Safeway Supermarket, coffee beans cost me around US $6/lb. What do I do? Should I pay 3X more for coffee in the hope that the farmers will receive a bigger cut or should I go to another store and buy cheaper coffee? What would you do? Fortunately, I was not looking for coffee that day!
Once in while (not often enough), we have a customer who is very concerned with the fees that a helper needs to pay in the Philippines to come to Hong Kong. The helper, who is poor, almost always pays more than the employer, who is materially richer. At Arrow we've developed a system that doesn't leave the applicants at the mercy of recruitment agencies in the Philippines, and as a result, Arrow ladies pay 40-50% less than the industry average. Last Sunday, one of our ladies showed me a list of 10 ladies she had sent to Arrow. I asked her "Why?" hoping she'd mention our care and love for helpers, but she gave the same answer I always hear "Sir, you are the cheapest!"
Recently one of our customers asked me if I could arrange a big discount for the lady they wanted to hire. They didn't want her to have to pay so much. I told them, "if you are willing to pay more, I will make sure she pays less in the Philippines." I offered them the "fair trade" coffee deal. They walked away. So let me ask you, are you willing to pay more, so that the helper can pay less? Most of our costs, air tickets, medicals, rents, salaries, etc. have gone up, but we haven't raised our prices. Our profit margins are around 10%. If Arrow agency fees were $7xxx, would you still want to do business with Arrow? I would raise prices for our HK customers and make sure our Filipino applicants received a big cut in fees, if I thought the market would allow me? What do you think? I'd love to hear your feedback.
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By Dr. Jorge De Ramos
A client called at the Arrow office one morning, “ I want to find a helper that is perfect match for my family, can your company deliver that for me?”
I was taken aback at the implications of this question. First, is there such a thing as a “perfect match”? And secondly, if such a thing exists, does Arrow have the ability of the company to deliver the “perfect match”?
We tend to think that looking for a helper is like shopping for a new pair of trousers. We move round to different stores; look at the pants worn by the perfectly shaped mannequins and then choose a handful of pairs based on our size to take to the fitting room, hoping to find one that will make our body look like the mannequins.’
The main difference between helpers and trousers is this: trousers don’t change to fit your body, while helpers adjust to fit into your home.
I do not mean that ALL helpers can successfully adapt to your home. There are those who are not suitable to work as domestic helpers in Hong Kong. There are those who are not physically able to do the job. Other would not have sufficient command of the English language in order to communicate across the linguistic divide. Others may have bad records in society that should raise red flags for a job that requires so much trustworthiness. On the more subtle side, there are those who do not have the emotional resilience to bear the loneliness of working away from home. Others may have an attitude that refuses to adjust to a new work environment albeit this is harder to discern. This is one important task that Arrow does for you: we filter out the obvious misfits.
How can you find a helper that can work well in your household? Here are a few guidelines:
1. Have a clear purpose in hiring a helper. One common reason people hire a helper is to release some members of the household to engage in income generating activities. After the kids have grown to school age, a spouse may want to go back to work; or the family may need someone to watch over an aging parent while the sibling goes to work.
2. Define what areas you need your helper to focus on. This will help you find what strengths you are looking for in an applicant. For example, you are expecting a baby but you desire to take care of the baby as a full time mom. You foresee that you will not be able to attend to the household chores even though you are staying at home. Look for someone whose strength is in household chores and who has a disposition for and is teachable in baby care. You may not be able to find someone who perfectly matches your wish list, but you will be able to hire someone who is strong in the areas you need most.
A clear definition of the task of the helper will also help your helper stay longer. If you aren’t clear in your job description and expectations before hiring a helper, you may end up with someone who is weak in the areas you most need. They won’t be able to perform up to your standards, and both you and your helper will feel frustrated.
3. Look at the applicants experience and score box. At arrowes.hk you can find helper bios that gives you a background on the work experience and a score card with our trainer’s assessment on the various areas of the applicants’ skill set. With these tools you can make a short list of helpers to interview.
4. Validate the information you gathered through the interview. During the interview, you will gain more understanding of the background of the applicant. It is also during these interviews that you can allow your intuition to take part in making the judgment.
Now how can we help our helpers “fit” into our household? Here are some suggestions.
1. Be Kind. Most helpers arrive with some feeling of apprehension, about having an “unkind” employer. During our post-arrival orientation we help them talk about and face this fear, but you can help them overcome this by giving them a warm and assuring welcome.
2. Communicate well. Give them feedback about their work. Be generous with praise especially with the task that is done well. Their first month is engaged in “calibrating” to your domestic standards of household work. Be sure to let them know how you want the work is done.
3. Orient them. Be sure to give them sufficient orientation to their work especially the ones that are related to their main areas that you require of them. Orient them also on how to respond to emergencies, what numbers to call or where to go for help. Show them how they can access to their personal needs, like their bedspace, access to food when they are hungry and when to use their phones.
4. Give them a proper day off. The Bible teaches that the seventh day will be a day of rest. This is meant to be a time when people could re-create themselves in order to grow as a person. Oftentimes, helper use their days off to communicate with family back home, to send money, meet with friends, attend seminars, worship and just simply rest. Give them sufficien time for themselves.
We encourage our Arrow ladies to take part in the activities of Jubilee International Filipino Fellowship during their days off. In our times together at Jubilee, we encourage one another and learn how to live according to the values taught in the Bible.
5. Encourage your helper to grow as a person. Becoming part of your household and adjusting to life in Hong Kong is a big step of growth. Personal growth should go farther than simple adjustment to HK. Allow them time to rest, especially if they have finished the days work. Give them personal time to read and learn new things for themselves. We and our Philippine agency partner gave these helpers a Bible, a book, Helper’s Helper, full of tips on working as domestic helpers in Hong Kong and a subscription to Our Daily Bread. We encourage them to read at least thirty minutes everyday to expand their minds. You may also wish to loan them a book or magazine article that you have found inspiring, but if they don’t have any personal time or energy to read, then it won’t do much good.
When it comes to hiring a helper there is no perfect match, because there are no perfect employers and no perfect helpers. Instead we should have a goal to find a person who fits our needs and criteria well, and then, after they arrive, build a good relationship where there is continuous growth and mutual encouragement.
We welcome you to leave comments below. We would love to hear your feedback, and your best ideas for getting the most out of your employees.
Dr. Jorge De Ramos
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