3 things HK employers wish their helpers knew about HK people
My last blog post was about “what Filipino workers wish their employers knew about Filipinos. It’s time to balance the books. This post is about 3 things HK people wish Filipinos knew about us.
HK people value our privacy and personal space.
Domestic workers live with their employers and naturally they hear and see a lot. They hear our fights, see our messes, clean up after us when we’re sick. HK employers expect helpers to respect their personal space and privacy. Helpers should never gossip about their employers, but should be zealous to protect the family’s good name. Workers should not invite guests over to the employer's home without permission. They should also respect their employer’s personal space and belongings. This includes never using their employer’s address to obtain a loan, not entering their rooms when they are there without knocking first, and not “exploring” their personal things. Homes in HK are small compared to many other places, so respecting the space, property, and privacy of others is essential for maintaining a harmonious relationship. On the other hand, the employer should follow the same rules and respect the personal space and privacy of the helper.
2. HK people value Punctuality and Reliability:
Punctuality and reliability are essential qualities that Hong Kong employers expect from their Filipino domestic workers. If you are not a few minutes early, you are already LATE. Employers expect their workers to arrive on time and complete their tasks on schedule. Workers should be reliable and dependable, ensuring that they complete their tasks without constant supervision. And from the worker’s POV, it’s hard to complete work on schedule if your employer is constantly interrupting you and calling you away to do other tasks. Keeping interruptions to a minimum helps workers keep to the schedule.
Employers understand that delays can happen, but workers should communicate promptly if there are any delays or issues. Employers value workers who are responsible and accountable for their work.
3. Hong Kong people want their Filipino workers to know that we have high expectations and when our workers don’t meet our expectations we sometimes get frustrated and angry. When that happens, please know that it does NOT mean we don’t like or appreciate you and your hard work.
Hong Kong is a stressful place to live and work. At one time it was considered the most stressful city in the world. Our education system and culture puts a lot of pressure on HK people to perform well. We, in turn, expect our workers to excel and perform well. Pressure is one of the tools schools and companies use to get high performance from people. It works for us, but we forget that it probably won’t work on Filipinos because you didn’t grow up with it. Please know that we are learning too, and we believe you can perform at a high level. If we put on too much pressure, please remember we want you to succeed; we do NOT want you to quit; we value your contribution to our family.
At Arrow we want our customers to find and keep good helpers. We want our applicants to find and keep a good job. When we make an effort to understand one another’s culture and ways we are increasing the chances that we can stay together for many years to come. Feel free to leave a comment.
How Old Is Your Anger?
“‘Young’ anger is frustration that has recently emerged. You feel it. You can access it. You haven’t suppressed it. You can deal with it. ‘Old’ anger is anger that has been simmering underground and often out of awareness for a very long time, leading to feelings like bitterness, resentment, and even disengagement. “
Dr. Jim Jackson, licensed psychologist, author, Director of Behavioral Health at Vanderbilt Medical Center
I recently read an article with this quote. I never thought about the age of emotions. Young emotions are easier to deal with because they haven’t hardened. Old emotions are like a soup or stew that has been allowed to cook too long and is impossible to clean from the pot. The age of our emotions matters. Old emotions may point to past traumas, and if we treat them with curiosity, we can learn from them.
What does any of this have to do with managing a helper? Filipinos struggle with the emotion of fear. Displays of anger tend to make them either freeze or run away. HK people often struggle with the emotion of anger. When anger meets fear, fear runs away like a deer fleeing a lion. If you want to keep a helper for the long term, then it pays to learn how to manage your anger. People with anger issues do not keep helpers, and hiring a new helper every few months is an expense most of us can’t afford. AND, if we can figure out the source of our old anger, and deal with it, we’ll be happier.
I think the idea of young or old anger is helpful. If my anger is old, then it is probably NOT about my helper or the crazy thing she just did. It’s probably about some hurt from my past, and if I can recognize what it is then I can deal with it. If my anger is young, then I can take a deep breath, use a time out, and decide how to address the issue in a way that won’t scare my helper into resigning.
How old is your anger? Leave a comment.