Don't let your helpers SPOIL your family! (Pastor Jorge)

Both Bolen and I grew up having domestic helpers in our family.  When we began to raise our own family and have children, we decided to hire our own helpers.  There was even a time when we needed two helpers to work in our growing household.  We have 5 children; the first four were one year and two years apart.  As of the present, we have a helper "Nits" staying with our children in Manila. 

When I (Jorge) was growing up,  my mother often reminded me and my younger brothers  not to take having a domestic helper for granted.  She observed that whenever our helper performed well, we tended to be lax on maintaining clealiness and tidiness at home.  When we got home from school, we threw our bags anywhere, our socks, shoes, uniform and anything we have on our bodies.  The house soon becomes a tangled mess. 

Later in life, I  find myself admonishing our children on the same matter.  I must admit it, having a domestic helper in your home tempts you to relax and let good habits like "clean up after yourself" drop by the wayside.  Their presence spoils you; or rather, you tend to spoil yourself knowing that someone will clean the mess for you.  

This is not something that occurs only in modern life.  The ancient book of Genesis says that Potiphar, an Egyptian military commander had a skillful servant named Joseph in his home, and as a result: did not concern himself with any of the affairs of his household except for the food he wanted to eat. 

As we serve among domestic helpers in Hong Kong, this is one matter that we commonly hear our church attendees complain about - their employers unconsciously, slowly become more and more messy, dropping everything as soon as they enter the house. Once they helped to maintain a clean and tidy home for the family, now they just dump everything and leave the helper to do it all.  When I  listen to this kind of story told, I cannot keep myself from having a tinge of guilt because it reminds me of how I used to treat our helpers. 

There are some very good reasons to fight this drift downward into sloppy living:

1. Lack of discipline in your personal life will spill over into your professional life. If you are a "slob" at home, sooner or later you'll become lazy or "cut corners" in your work too. 
2. Self discipline is essential to success. If you allow your children to become little "princes and princesses", they will not develop the self-discipline and habits that will turn them into successful adults. 
3. If we do our part, our home will become a more comfortable and pleasant place for our family. Our helper won't we overworked, and will be able to contribute to the lives of the children (playing or teaching English) rather than picking up our dirty socks, and backpacks.

 For our own sakes, and the sake of our children, let's not let our helpers turn us into helpless, undisciplined people. We need to do our part to make our homes clean, tidy comfortable and happy!

 Pastor Jorge

Fantastic Employers!

I often tell new customers "we don't claim to have the best helpers in all of Hong Kong, because there are so many fine ladies working here. However, we are absolutely sure that we have the BEST EMPLOYERS in all of Hong Kong."

In the last month, my confidence was again validated by two of our Arrow customers. Both of these customers have Arrow ladies working for them. Within a couple weeks of each other, both of the helpers lost their husbands.

In the first case, the employer was planning on releasing her helper, because the family's situation had changed and they no longer need a helper. The employer told her helper 2 months ahead of time and asked Arrow to please find a good employer for her helper. We did! When the helper's husband suddenly died, the employer told the helper "Don't worry, we'll keep you working for us until you return from the Philippines, so you won't have any problem changing to the new employer."  The helper went home, buried her husband, returned to Hong Kong, and has reported to her new employer. The new employer was equally gracious saying "Take all the time you need to deal with your affairs in the Philippines. We'll wait."

Another helper's husband passed away this week, and her employer called Arrow to see if we would check on her. He said "My home is open to you. I welcome you to go to my home to visit her." So we sent our church pastor to visit  and pray with her. The employer has personally paid for and purchased a round trip ticket for her to go home and deal with the situation.  We took her to the Philippine Consulate to get her paperwork for leaving Hong Kong, and she'll leave this weekend.

These employers are truly humane, being and acting as humans were meant to be and act.  This should be the norm for all of us. I'm grateful for these employers, and I hope I can follow their kind and gracious example. I am proud to be connected to such fantastic people. May God richly bless them!

Airline Chaos

We have a number of helpers scheduled to arrive this week, and we are running into great difficulty getting them here on time. Their employers are angry because the flights are being rescheduled, and we are scrambling to get the helpers to HK on time. Who is to blame? I'm not big on blame, but we are doing everything we can to get helpers here as scheduled.

The week after Easter (it turns out) is the high season.  Summer vacation in the Philippines begins in April. Helpers from HK who went home over the holiday are all returning to work. The airlines are taking advantage of the situation to raise their prices!

Airlines change ticket prices constantly based on demand. If a ticket has not been issued, even though you have a booking, they can raise the price on you at will. That is what is happening now. The airlines are doubling or tripling the price of tickets. We had ladies booked to fly, but the tickets have not been issued, because the helpers need to have what is called an OEC certificate before they are allowed to fly. If the Manila agency issues the tickets and the lady doesn't receive her OEC, then she can't fly, and the agency will have to pay a hefty penalty to change the ticket (penalties now are so stiff, that it is better to throw the ticket away and buy a new one.) 

The Manila agency, that schedules our flights, has a budget of around HK$865 per ticket. The price has suddenly jumped to more than $2000 for a one way ticket. Some of our customers are understanding, others are saying "But you said they should arrive on this date and that is when we want them."

So we are faced with the awkward choice of either losing a lot of money or making the employer wait for a week.  What a mess!

As we look at the future, we may have to move to a two-tier pricing, where we charge a higher fee to guarantee that a woman can arrive within 10 weeks; and our normal fee if the customer is willing to wait for 12 weeks. This would allow us to book and issue tickets for the helpers early on, when the prices are guaranteed to be affordable. Customers who want their helpers to arrive sooner, would be asked to pay a higher fee, so we would be protected against airline fare hikes. 

What do you think? We would welcome your suggestions and feedback.

Filipinos and Money

The comedian Jack Benny was famous for his stinginess and love of money. In one famous skit, a robber points a gun at Jack and says "Your money or your life!" Jack puts his hand to his face and doesn't say anything. The robber again demands "Buddy, I said 'your money or your life'. Jack Benny answered him "I'm thinking!", i.e., he was deciding whether he loved his money or his life more, and it was a hard decision!

Hong Kong people and Filipinos DIFFER GREATLY in the way they view and handle money. For Hong Kong people money is very important. When people ask me "What is the main religion of Hong Kong?" I have no problem answering "Money". We even have a "Choi San" 財神.  Hong Kong people believe that money = security, so we want to have plenty of assets, lots of savings, good insurance coverage, etc. 

To Filipinos money is NOT as important. Relationships with others is far more important than money, so they will gladly give up money to ensure good relationships. They are what we call "a soft touch", they cannot say "NO" to a relative or friend in need. And because of poverty, someone in your family circle is almost always in need. That is why they cannot and, for the most part, do not save. If they save, someone will most assuredly ask them for a loan, and then the money will be gone! 

For these reasons, Filipinos like to buy things on installment plans, and  they are willing to pay high interest rates to do so. Most of us believe it is better to save and pay cash, so  we can avoid interest. For many Filipinos it is better to pay the interest and buy on time, because at least that way, they can acquire the new refrigerator they want, and honestly tell their  family and friends "I'm sorry, I have no money."

Most Hong Kong employers are strongly AGAINST their helpers taking out loans in Hong Kong, but we seem to be fighting a losing battle for two reasons:

1. The Filipino culture of helping friends & family makes it difficult for the Filipino to save.
2. Interest rates and terms for loans are more favorable in Hong Kong than in  the Philippines.

People hiring helpers from Arrow usually ask applicants "Why do you want to come to Hong Kong?" Most of them answer, "My family needs the money" or "I want to build a house" or "I want to start a small business." These are admirable goals, goals that take MONEY! Since they are unlikely to save to achieve that goal, HOW DO YOU THINK THEY WILL GET THERE? Borrow, of course! So they are either going to borrow in Hong Kong at low interest rates or from loan sharks in the Philippines at rates up to 30% per annum. 

What should we do? I don't know, BUT I am a big believer in ACCEPTING REALITY, and starting from there to find solutions. Arrow is talking with the Development Bank of the Philippines to explore different possibilities for helping the families  of OFWs. Perhaps you might start by talking to your helpers about the specifics of her financial plans. You might say something like "You told me when I hired you, that you want to build a house. Would you mind telling me a bit more about how you plan to do that?" If you understand their situation and their goals, you might avoid some misunderstandings and you might be able to give them some valuable advice. On the other hand, you may be thinking - "I'd rather not know. As long as it doesn't effect their work, then I don't care." That's okay too. Leave me a comment and let me know what you're thinking.

Allan Smith

Hang onto your teeth!

The following report is from the Apple Daily.

印尼女傭 Hayati Nur（ 25歲），被控於去年 12月 1日在秀茂坪曉麗苑一單位，以絲巾蒙面，趁 79歲女僱主鄧蕙冰睡覺時，劫去一條金頸鏈連兩個玉吊墜糾纏期間，女僱主兩隻門牙被打甩飛脫。被告又被控某日在同一單位內偷取兩張 Visa信用卡。

被告承認控罪，今日在區域法院被判監 40個月。法官判刑時形容，這是一宗嚴重搶劫案，被告行為極為貪心，更使用武力對付一名年長女士，令對方受傷。

Newborn care: Common-sense strategies for stressed-out parents from the Mayo Clinic

Round-the-clock newborn care can turn your life upside down. Use these practical strategies to handle the new stress in your life.

By Mayo Clinic staff 

A newborn can bring a whirlwind of activity and excitement to your life — and plenty of stress and fatigue as well. Whether you're a first-time parent or a seasoned veteran, consider 10 practical strategies to keep stress under control.

1. Take care of yourself

Resist the urge to count caffeine as a major food group or a substitute for sleep. Instead, eat a healthy diet, drink plenty of water and get some fresh air. Sleep when the baby sleeps — and work out a nighttime schedule with your partner that allows both of you to rest and care for the baby. Do something you enjoy every day, either with your baby or on your own. Good habits will help you maintain the energy you need to care for your newborn.

2. Establish visiting rules

Friends and loved ones may come out of the woodwork to admire your newborn. Let them know which days work best and how much time you have for a visit. Insist that visitors wash their hands before holding the baby, and ask anyone who's ill to stay home. Don't be afraid to set aside your social graces, either. Let trusted visitors care for the baby while you get some much needed rest.

3. Go with the flow

It's never too early to establish a routine — but let your newborn set the pace. Allow plenty of time each day for nursing sessions, naps and crying spells. Keep scheduled activities to a minimum. When you need to head out, give yourself extra time to pack your supplies and change the inevitable out-the-door dirty diaper.

4. Expect a roller coaster of emotions

You may go from adoring your baby and marveling at tiny fingers and toes to grieving your loss of independence and worrying about your ability to care for a newborn, all in the space of a single diaper change. Chances are, you and your partner are both tired and anxious as well. Talking about what's bothering you — such as a strained budget or difficulty soothing the baby — can help you stay connected. A shared laugh may help lighten the mood.

5. Relax your standards

Hide the broom and leave dust bunnies where they lie. Store clean clothes in the laundry basket until you need them — or in stacks on the floor, for that matter. Clean the bathroom with a fresh diaper wipe. Serve cold cereal and peanut butter toast for dinner when you're too tired to prepare a more traditional meal.

6. Get out of the house

 If you're going stir-crazy with a fussy newborn, take the baby out for a walk. If you can, let someone you trust take over for a while.

7. Accept a helping hand

When friends and loved ones offer to help, take them up on it. Suggest holding the baby, folding the laundry, running a few errands — whatever would help you the most.

8. Nurture other relationships

Your newborn needs your love and attention, but you won't let your baby down by spending time with others. If you have other children, set aside one-on-one time with each of them. Schedule dates with your partner. Meet a friend for lunch or a movie.

9. Keep your perspective

The newborn days won't last long. Step back and appreciate the moment, even amid the chaos.

10. Know when to seek additional help

Parenting is a challenge, even on a good day. If you're depressed or you're having trouble adjusting to life with a newborn, consult your health care provider or a mental health professional. Learning to handle the new stress in your life can help you enjoy the riches parenting has to offer.

Why is it so hard to bless others?

Recently we had a customer terminate their helper because the employer had lost her job. When they brought the helper in, the husband told me that his wife had lost their job so they had to let the helper go. I asked them if they would please put this in writing and they refused. If they had been willing to tell Immigration these simple facts, the helper could have stayed and almost immediately gone to work for another family. Instead she now has gone back to the Philippines and her prospects at age 40 are significantly diminished. Let's assume the lady was a "ma ma day" helper, not too good and not too bad. So what? Why not help her? Why not help a family in need of a helper now? What is so difficult about picking up the pen and writing one or two sentences to bless another person?  With the economic downturn we have had a number of employers lose their jobs, but most of them WILL NOT put it in writing, as if this will curse them forever. Can someone explain this to me? The Bible says that when we bless, we GET BLESSED. By withholding blessing we are cursing ourselves. It seems that some people are operating under a different "economy". I hope someone can explain this mindset to me.

Photos from Arrow's Kitchen

Here are pictures of the Arrow kitchen and the delicious food our trainees have been preparing.

Terminated: Filipino perspectives by Dr. Jorge and Bolen De Ramos (guest author)

*Terminated!*

Terminate - Pronunciation: \tər’-mə-nət\; Function: *adjective*; Etymology:Middle English, from Latin *terminatus,* past participle of *terminare,*from*terminus*; Date: 15th century*:* coming to an end or capable of ending

 In Hong Kong this word means ending a job contract. Domestic helpers in HK would sometimes use the phrase, “bababa na ko” (I’m descending) – a metaphor for leaving a place of employment.

 The word “terminated” is particularly used when a household worker is fired from her job. Otherwise the worker would say, “I broke contract” –more Filipinese, “*nag break contract na ko*” - indicating a resignation.

We regularly encounter terminated workers. Their stories as well as reactions and attitudes vary.  Most are bitter and dejected, while some would be surprisingly happy about it. But terminations are generally an unpleasant experience.

The reasons for terminations vary as well. Most of them will cite poor performance as the culprit. But there are more reasons than mere job mediocrity.

We received a call from M*, one of our active members in church. She was asked by her employer to pack up and leave the house hastily, before the child wakes up. She placed everything she had in a sack (she had just disposed her suitcase with the plan to buy a new one). Upon receiving the required documents and termination pay, she was instructed to leave quietly.

As expected, she is confused why this has happened. Her employer had no qualms about her work; M* knew the routines and standards of her employer’s home well. And to confound the matter, the termination happened on the eve of her last month with her employer.

Sorting through the incident, she concluded that the reason is with her growing intimacy with her employers’ toddler.   For the past two years, the child has spent most of his waking hours – and even sleeping hours, with M*. The mother has typically been busy with her work that she has become virtually absent. Naturally, the toddler became more inclined to his caregiver than to his mother. Thus the employer, in order to avert the situation decided to fire M*.

When J* was terminated, her employer says it was poor performance. Later on, we learned that the termination was a way to keep the man of the house getting entangled with an attractive house help.

R* has already worked for four months and then she was terminated. But she finds herself at peace with what has happened. It was a better option than staying on. Although she speculates on the seeming failure of her higher purpose as a Christian; she sees herself as an agent of God’s blessing to her employer. She had been somewhat warned that her employer is hard to satisfy.  Equipped with determination and faith, she took it as a challenge. She persevered through weeks and months of unreasonable demands and irrational behavior. She took consolation on God’s promise of presence and her sense of mission.   She constantly prayed for the ones she worked for. She did not give up, but her employer gave up on her.  Nevertheless, she is moving on with optimism that God will set her on another household where she can still be an agent of blessing.

Those who were terminated leave their place of employment, bitter and bewildered. Most will break down at the announcement.  They would think of the money they spent to have an overseas job. Some even have loans to pay on their placement fees. They ask themselves, "is this what we get for leaving our loved ones and spending all the money we had?" To most of them, the dejected feeling would bear down on their already-tattered self-esteem.

Those terminated commonly need two things immediately: a place to stay and an ear to listen. These two needs have become an essential part of what a minister among the OFWs (Overseas Filipino Worker) here in Hong Kong has to offer.

God has blessed us to live in a flat with an extra room. This flat has become a place of refuge for those who have been displaced by termination. Often times, tired and weary they would over sleep on their first night – catching up on much needed rest. And then much time of their waking hours will be spent talking to someone they trust.

And by the Lord’s grace, Bolen and I would have the faculty to listen. By listening we observe that they go through a typical emotional cycle of a grieving person. This graphic I downloaded from the internet accurately represents the emotions the terminated go through. So we journey with them as much as we can through the cycle, punctuating it with prayers , God's Word and with quiet times of reflection.

Arrow Employment Services also do their part for these people. Arrow assists the terminated in finding a new employer for them. They also coach them on their rights and privileges. Most agencies would have nothing to do with the terminated. Besides their services given only up to the point when they are placed.

 This model is adapted from Kubler-Ross’s grief cycle.

 Please do continue to pray for us that we -not only for Jorge and Bolen- but for all of us who serve OFWs - that we may be channels of God's grace to those who have been terminated.

OFWs spoil their kids

Below is a link and an excerpt from an interesting news article about OFWs spoiling their kids.  It is difficult for OFWs not to spoil their children, because they feel guilty over leaving them to work abroad. As a result, they over compensate, and spoil the kids, giving in to their every whim.  How can a worker avoid this "spoiling syndrome"? By sitting down with the whole family and having a clear financial goal, e.g., "We are going to save 200,000 pesos and buy a house.  Until we reach that goal, all other expenses will be kept to a minimum. Do we all agree?" One of our 2010 goals for Arrow is to implement financial counselling for the families of OFWs before they come to HK. If we can achieve this goal, we think it will make a big difference in their lives.

PHILIPPINES: Belt-tightening by Migrant Workers Unfelt at Home By Tess Bacalla*

BATANGAS, Philippines, Dec 18 (IPS) - The global financial crisis may have dealt a severe blow to Filipino migrant workers, thousands of whom lost their jobs and fell into debt. But public schoolteacher Melinda Mendoza does not see this impact at all -- at least not within the four walls of her classroom.

On the contrary, Mendoza, 45, is bothered no end by her pupils’ ostentatious display of opulence in a poor rural setting, where luxury is atypical. 

"They have huge allowances," says the teacher of 21 years in the government-run Pulong Anahao Elementary School, located in the town of Mabini here in Batangas province, a two-hour drive south of Manila. 

On top of that, the students own electronic gadgets like mobile phones that are no match to those of a public school teacher like Mendoza. She earns a measly few thousands of pesos a month, hardly enough to buy a high-end unit that is a status symbol in this South-east Asian country, at least 30 percent of whose 90 million people live in poverty. 

Baby monitor analyzes baby's cry

Saw this Crying Baby Monitor and Analyzer on a Christmas gadget gift website. Goofy or fun, you decide.   
                           
“It’s okay, the baby is only crying out of boredom.” If you can believe this interesting gadget that claims to be able to differentiate between a baby in distress and an angry baby then this might be a well spent $99 ($75 on Amazon) for any new parent. 

The Why Cry Baby Analyzer baby monitor uses frequency analysis technology to tell if your baby is stressed, sleepy, annoyed, bored or hungry. Who needs a wise old grandparent to teach you about child rearing when you have gadgets like this?

How to prevent child abuse by your helper

I found this article on the web and was impressed by the general wisdom in how to maintain a good relationship with your helper, so that she doesn't develop emotional problems. I hope you'll like it as well. The author has a number of articles on child-rearing and motherhood. Please click on her name to see her other articles.

Tips For Preventing Child Abuse by a Domestic Helper by Elaine Lau

"In today's world, as we are often too caught up in the rat race that we tend to have no time left for the seemingly mundane details of life, such as household chores. That's when we are getting increasingly dependent on foreign helpers from maid agencies to manage our households.

However, the way we manage domestic help is an area that we cannot afford to neglect. Seen videos of maids kicking poor, helpless children like they hate them wholeheartedly? We can pretend all these do not exist and sweep the ugly truth under the carpet, but well, it's the harsh reality. It makes one wonder how can one abuse a child with no defences? The child abuse issue is most probably, not just skin-deep.

Here are some pointers for child abuse prevention from your domestic helper to avoid such unfortunate incidents from happening: 

• Lots of patience for cultural and language differences. Remember that our domestic helpers come from very different backgrounds as us. Be patient and guide them through the norms here. Do not be surprised if your maid might mistake a spittoon as a washbasin! Try to stay calm and composed in all situations, even if you are exasperated. Try to think from her point of view.
• Communication. Communication is essential in all relationships and hence, it's critical that you be an understanding employer. Treat your employee with sincerity and if she will return it in kind, she will communicate her worries and fears to you and in turn, you can offer her advice or help to solve some of her problems so that she can focus on her work. Lack of communication can lead to many problems, including pent-up frustration and anger.
• Reasonable amount of workload. They are not cogs of machines, which we only assign work to. They are after all, humans too. Find out what amount of work is your helper comfortable with on a daily basis and give her some allowance for breaks as well. Find out her strengths and weaknesses and work around them.
• Acceptance. Money aside, bear in mind that after all, it's your family that she's taking care of, not hers. Her motivation will come from the fact that she's serving a family that treats her well and accepts her, just like one of them. Bring her along with you for supermarket shopping and build the bond. Use the opportunity to teach her more about the local culture and food. Most importantly, it's best to nurture a good relationship with her so as to build up understanding and trust.
• Sufficient Rest for Work-Life Balance. Allow an off day per week for your maid to rest. Leave her alone for a day to do her own activities, without loading her with the frazzle of the daily chores. If you are worried about her leading astray outside by mixing with the wrong company, perhaps you can bring her along on your weekend family outings.
• Lay down ground rules. Set some rules that you expect her to abide by, by letting her know the dos and don'ts in your household. Remember that you are the one in control of the fundamental rules, without abusing your authority.
• Understanding. Be alert if your maid seems a little unusual from her normal self. She might be unwell or troubled. Give her the necessary support she needs, for example, seeking medical help or advice.
• Anger management. Pent up emotion can lead to extreme anger. Poor control over your emotions can lead to you abusing your maid, whether it's emotionally or physically. If you or anyone in your family is experiencing this problem managing anger a constructive manner, do seek help before it gets out of hand. Try not to drive your maid up the wall, even though she's driving you up the wall!
• Be alert. Notice any subtle changes in your helper or child, for example, body injuries. Listen to what your child or elderly member in your household has to say about your helper, instead of brushing it off. Sometimes, small issues can snowball into big ones. Take preventive measures if you find something amiss.

Hopefully, these child abuse prevention suggestions will be helpful for making living with your domestic helper more pleasant. It's often so easy to forget the things that we take for granted in our lives. Do not forget to thank them for their great help! Such cases can be reduced as there is more often than none, underlying psychological issues behind every seemingly negative action."

Helpers: touching the lives of children

Here is a link to a blog written by a young woman who, as a child, was so influenced by her domestic helper, that now she is actively involved in helping children as a way of life. Click through the link and read her post. Enjoy!

ourney.Through.Life
By Lois 
Did I not also first learn about Jesus and praying and God when I was in primary school from mydomestic helper? She was such a big influence in my life, teaching me to pray on a daily basis. Had a dream that day of little kiddos ...
The sun will rise again - http://loisloved.blogspot.com/

It's not worth it!

Don't even think about paying your  maid (no matter what nationality she is) less than the minimum wage. People in HK sometimes collude with unscrupulous agents to cheat Indonesian maids. Don't even think of it! Here is what happened recently to someone who did that:

Hong Kong (HKSAR) - An employer of a foreign domestic helper was fined $90,000 at the Tsuen Wan Magistrates' Courts today (November 23) for underpaying wages to the helper. The prosecution was initiated by the Labour Department. "Employers of foreign domestic helpers should not pay their helpers below the minimum allowable wage stipulated by the Government.

Under the Employment Ordinance, the maximum fine for underpayment of wages is $350,000 and imprisonment for three years," a spokesman for the Labour Department said. During the foreign domestic helper's employment period, the employer failed to pay wages according to the minimum allowable wage as set out by the Government at the time of signing the employment contract. The total amount of outstanding wages was $39,300.

According to Section 23 of the Employment Ordinance, wages due upon expiry of the last day of the wage period must be paid as soon as practicable but in any case not later than seven days thereafter. "Employees, including foreign domestic helpers, who are owed wages should promptly report to the Labour Department, assist in investigation and give evidence to protect their interests," he said. The spokesman urged employees who were owed wages to call the department's complaints hotline on 2815 2200.

Fear

I love the question "What would you do if you were not afraid?" The answer, in most circumstances, is exactly the right thing TO DO! 

"I would tell my boss, that this project has a fatal flaw."

"I would break up with my boyfriend."

"I would go back to school and get my masters degree."

Many of us consistently make decisions based on fear, rather than decisions based on hope or faith.

Employers who are thinking of replacing their helpers usually ask me to promise "not to tell the helper". Of course, we will always protect the employer's confidentiality. When I ask "Why don't you want to tell her?" the answer usually begins with "I AM AFRAID..."

 "I am afraid she'll harm my child."

"I am afraid she'll spit in the soup."

"I'M AFRAID!"

What would you do if you weren't afraid? Why not try doing that? We sometimes hear back that an Arrow lady has been given a visa to go to Canada. If I ask the helper, "Did you tell your employer about your plans, so they could arrange for a replacement, the answer is always the same. "No way!" I then ask, "Why not?" Can you guess the answer?

"I AM AFRAID!" Afraid of what?

"Afraid they will fire me out."

"Afraid they will do something to harm my visa application."

"I AM AFRAID!"

What would you do if you were not afraid? Try doing that, it is probably the right thing to do? Why don't we take the risk of trusting the other person? Of believing that they are a decent human being, who will not "spit in our soup", "injure our baby", "attempt to ruin our dreams of going to Canada". 

What would you do, IF you were not afraid?

Remarkable Wisdom

A young man came into my office today to sign a contract to hire a helper to care for his new baby. What was remarkable was:

 He is hiring a woman over 40 years old, and is enthuiastic about her abilities and maturity.

1. He told his current 24 y.o. helper that he will terminate her. The young helper immediately began to smile, and the relief she felt was evident. The employer told her that he will do what he can to  help find a better situation, one that fits her abilities. With his support, the young lady already has some prospects. She is happy and will stay with the family up until the new helper arrives. 

  There are no perfect fits, and most helpers, given a fair chance, can learn your ways and fulfill your requirements. If you've given her a fair chance, and she still can't work to standard, then perhaps your helper is a bad fit for you. In that case, it is not a crime to change to another helper. If you need to do so, there is no need to keep it secret. I have had helpers tell me "I saw some profiles on their computer, so I had a good idea they were going to terminate me. It's actually a relief." If you are a "square peg in a round hole" helper, you will know that you are not the right fit for the job, and you will feel out of place. So why not just tell the helper, give them your support, and let them find a situation better suited to their abilities and personalities.  

I was wrong!

Well it won't be the first or the last time, but I was wrong. I messed around with our replacement policy, and scared away new customers. I was wrong. I've changed our policy so that if reflects the "TRUST" we have in our customers. Arrow customers don't change helpers like they would a set of clothes. Our employers are the best in Hong Kong, and they deserve a generous replacement policy to protect them, in case their helper doesn't work out. We have corrected our policy, and we won't mess around with it anymore.  

Allan

What do babies think?

I heard this fascinating audio podcast about research into "what do babies think?". It the English is difficult to listen to, then you can listen as you read the transcript. If you have a baby, this latest research is fascinating.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=112481229

Food Allowance Increased from $300 to $740 per month

From Asiaxpat.com some good news for helpers:

"Domestic helpers have something to smile about after 26 years - their food allowance will more than double for new employment contracts signed from today.

But their salary will not be increased.

The food allowance will jump from a minimum of HK$300 per month to HK$740. The allowance will be paid by employers who do not provide their helpers with meals.

The increase is the first since 1983.

But the "minimum allowable wage" remains frozen at HK$3,580 a month. Most employers pay the minimum, but there are reports that some maids, especially Indonesians, are underpaid.

"We welcome the increase in the food allowance because it is long overdue," said Eman Villanueva, spokesman for the Asian Migrants Coordinating Body. "But it is still not enough. The minimum wage freeze is actually a denial of the wage increase that we have been clamoring for since our pay was cut in 2003."

Union leaders said foreign helpers took a pay cut of HK$400 in 2003 after the SARS crisis devastated the economy.

The government said yesterday that the helpers' salary was set after a review that took into account "Hong Kong's general economic and employment situation."

This was "reflected through a basket of economic indicators, including the relevant income movement, price change and labor market situation," it said.

The government said it made the decision to raise the allowance after considering consumer price indexes changes.

But the administration believes most employers will not be affected because they provide their maids with food.

The minimum monthly food allowance was set at HK$100 in 1973, doubling to HK$200 in 1978 before rising to HK$300 in 1983.

The minimum wage was last raised in July last year by HK$100 to HK$3,580."

感染新型流感的菲傭傍晚病逝

Found the below article about a 37 year Filipino who died from H1N1. This is a great tragedy for her and her family. H1N1 has everyone on edge, so much so that recently employers have been asking us to hold new arrivals for 1 week to quarantine them before bringing them to the employer's home. This practice is problematic, because the only place for them to stay during the week is a boarding house in a room with 6-10 other Filipinos. What if your helper is perfectly healthy but one of the other residents of the boarding house is sick. Your helper may be exposed on day 4, report to your house on day 7, and get sick on day 10. If you are going to isolate them, it would be better to isolate them in your own home. Isolating them is a boarding house probably increases the risk to your family, rather than lowers it.

感染甲型H1N1流感情況危殆的三十七歲菲律賓女傭，延至今日傍晚病逝，當局會化驗確定死因；死者上月廿八日抵港，第二日喉嚨痛及輕微發燒，今個月七日出現嚴重肺炎，入住聯合醫院深切治療部；月初一名四十二歲菲律賓海員，感染抗藥性金黃葡萄球菌後病逝，衛生署其後驗出死者亦感染新型流感，相信是全球首宗雙重感染致死病例。

另外，本港過去一日增加一百五十三宗新型流感，涉及七十七男七十六女，年齡介乎四個月至七十五歲，病例總數增至二千八百五十五宗