Language Helps for Employers and Helpers

Kathy Lam has prepared a phrase book with Chinese/English/Filipino words to assist employers to have better communication with their helpers. You can see the phrasebook here.

嬰兒按摩導師：林麗琼

嬰兒按摩揉合了中國、印度、瑞典及反射論按摩四種手法精髓而成。

每次按摩需時約二十至三十分鐘。零至一歲的BB適合開始按摩。然而,開始會爬行的BB較難乖乖不動。年紀越小開始, BB越快習慣。

嬰兒按摩對BB有什麼好處?

-促使BB與父母之關係更親密、促進食欲、舒緩肚風、寕神安睡、提升免疫力、助BB放鬆, 消減壓力、手腳更靈活、不怕陌生人、增強自信心等。

嬰兒按摩對家長有什麼好處?

-促進親子關係提升泌乳量、 更敏銳BB需要、 增強育兒信心 、紓緩與BB分離的壓力及焦慮 、減少產後壓力、抑鬱等。

上門嬰兒按摩班 - 共四堂，每次一小時

對象: 0-12個月嬰兒

日期、時間: 與父母協定

地點: 父母家

收費:$800/一堂(父母及一個嬰兒。每多一名大人需加$200), $2900/四堂

內容: 介紹按摩對嬰兒生理、心理、社交等各方面成長之好處、對父母之好處

；示範/督導按摩技巧。

第一堂：按摩好處、油的選擇、按摩雙腳、臀部          第二堂：複習、按摩肚、胸

第三堂：複習、按摩手、頭                                            第四堂：複習、按摩背；舒緩便秘、肚                                                                                            風之按摩法

導師: 林麗琼 (註冊護士、初生嬰兒護理導師、國際嬰兒按摩協會嬰兒按摩師)

備註:

1.本課程乃親子課程,必須由父母 / 其中一位陪同嬰兒出席。

2. 嬰兒按摩前注意事項:

a. 上課當日請替嬰兒穿簡便衣服,如:和尚袍,以便按摩動作。

b. 請在上課前至少一小時前給嬰兒餵,以防嬰兒在按摩時太餓/太飽。

c. 請在平日多撫摸嬰兒手腳及面部,以減少嬰兒在上課當日對按摩之抗拒。

d. 父母請在按摩前請先修剪脂甲、脫下手上飾物及小心保管。長髮者請束髮。

3. 歡迎**請致電2151 1125, 2151 1126或電郵<info@arrowes.hk>預約。

Erwiana and indentured servitude in Hong Kong, an employment agent's perspective

Torture and slavery in Hong Kong! Headlines like this are pouring from the news outlets lately.  I feel horrified as I hear the stories and see the pictures. I own and operate a domestic helper agency in Hong Kong.  Our agency finds jobs for Filipinos who wish to work in Hong Kong.

In our 7 years of operation we have never seen a case like Erwiana's. Over the years we have had to remove only two helpers from customers' homes. In one case, Grandma was suffering from senile dementia, couldn't remember the helper, thought she was a stranger in the house and threatened her with a knife. The police were called and we removed the helper from their home on the same day. In another case, a helper came to us saying she was fearful of her employer, because the employer poured hot water on her hand, burning her.  When she told my wife the details of what happened, my wife wouldn't allow her to return to the employer's home. We talked to the helper about reporting the case to the police, but she refused. We later escorted her to the home to pick up her things, and found her another employer. 

The vast majority of our customers are kind and good employers who share our values of treating all people with respect and dignity. The come to our agency because they want to find a good helper who can fit long-term into their family. 

How does a helper get trapped for months in an abusive working environment? The answer is simple: money.  Simply put, most agencies have a conflict of interest. They are charged by the respective consulates (in our case, the Philippines Consulate) to look after the welfare of the helpers placed through them. On the other hand, most of the helpers owe the agency money. If the agent takes action to remove a helper from a dangerous situation, they will lose money. If, in the case of those serving Indonesians, the agent doesn't repay the training school the helper came from, then the training school will not give the HK agent any more workers.  The fox is in charge of the hen house.  Under such arrangements even a good agency is likely going to err on the side of keeping the helper working, rather than err on the side of safety and pull the helper out. 

From the helpers point of view: she comes here to earn a living, but because she has to pay expensive agency fees, she feels she cannot quit.  Her employer may isolate her by not giving her days off, so she is not able to ask others "Is this right? Is this normal?"  One helper reported to us that she was sleeping on the floor. We wrote to the employer about our concern that they were breaching the terms of their contract and were effectively told to "mind your own business". The helper was told not to talk to her agency anymore. We will always encourage helpers to directly talk to their employers, but sometimes they are afraid to, and ask us to help them. If the helper is isolated from others or if her agency always sides with the employer because the helper owes the agency money, what is the helper to do? If no one helps her, either due to lack of access or greed then she will be trapped in an intolerable situation.

How can we fix the situation? We must begin by removing the fundamental conflict of interest. The easiest way to do that is for all countries to adopt the same or a similar policy to the Philippines. Last year, the Philippines government began enforcing a zero placement fee policy (a policy that, as it turns out, was on the books for years, but never enforced). In effect they said that employment agencies in the Philippines could not collect any placement fees from the helpers. Zero!  (I disagree with this policy and believe the applicants should pay the equivalent of one month's salary, but for now, this is the law.) Their action threw a giant monkey wrench into Hong Kong Employment Agency business model. Before this agencies in the Philippines collected fees and paid their Hong Kong counterparts for every helper they were able to place. The money collected from partner agencies in the Philippines kept the cost of hiring a helper artificially low for Hong Kong people. The same was true for helpers from Indonesia, except that they were forced to take out loans upon arrival in Hong Kong to pay  their Indonesian training school fees and with a cut, of course, for the Hong Kong agency.  

Both Philippine and Hong Kong agencies relied on income from the helpers. Before last year, Filipino helpers paid an average of 80,000 to 120,000 (HK$14,500-21,800) for their jobs.  We set up our company, in part, to bring down the high cost of finding work in Hong Kong. We were, therefore, never as dependant on income from the Philippines as were most agencies. When the Philippines government began enforcing "zero placement" they removed a huge amount of revenue from the table.  Employment agencies suddenly were forced to double their prices for Hong Kong employers, and still that wasn't enough. What to do? The cost of labor and commercial rentals is higher than ever before; 50-70% of their income was taken away at one fell swoop - what are the options?

1. Find a new source of revenue: Trade groups are taking junkets to Bangladesh and Myanmar in the hopes of bringing in a fresh tide of workers to replace the Filipinos, not because Filipinos don't want to come, but because they won't pay money to come. The party line says "the economies of the Philippines and Indonesia are good now, so they don't want to come anymore. That is simply not true. My agency receives 100's of online applications from the Philippines every week.  Applicants are literally pleading with us to find them work.
2. Ignoring Philippine and HK law. Agencies have years of experience at this. I had lunch with another agent this week and asked her if we could form an association of agencies who are actually abiding by the laws. She said (anecdotal evidence, I know) she knows a lot of agencies, but only a few who are following the laws. Our helpers report to us weekly about how much their friends and relatives are still paying to come to Hong Kong. The Philippines government is not yet evenly enforcing the zero placement policy. Rappler.com reports: "As of latest count, about 16,000 such cases have reportedly been brought to POLO for conciliation, resulting in about four months of wait for each claimant." If the Philippine government was enforcing zero placement they would be rescinding licenses of agencies NOT spending 1000's of man hours in conciliation efforts.  The fact that there is a huge backlog of conciliation cases says clearly that the practice of charging agency fees to helpers has NOT been stopped. Why doesn't the government stop this practice by rescinding licenses? Why would they invest 1000's of man hours in settling cases? What's in it for those in charge of these policies? Why don't they enforce their own rules?
3. Raising prices, cutting costs, and improving service. A handful of agencies, including mine, are taking this route. It is difficult because we are competing against the majority of agencies who are still cheating and gaming the system. The playing field is not even, but we hope that the HK and Philippines government will work together to provide a level playing field that both protects the workers and also allows the free market to determine who wins and loses in this business. We feel confident, that if the playing field is even, we can win by providing excellent service rather than by taking advantage of the those who can least afford to pay. 

The case of Erwiana Sulistyaningsih is pushing the Hong Kong government to take a fresh look at the whole system that regulates how Hong Kong people hire and treat helpers. I hope the heat will be hot enough to motivate real transformation, but I'm not going to hold my breath until it happens.

10 Habits of Happy Couples

            It starts with going to bed together...

"My husband shared this great article with me. He has been working them out with me in the past 16 years and they really work!"

 Kathy Lam

For further reading, please click: 

10 Habits of Happy Couples  By Mark Goulston

CNY Do's and Don'ts for helpers

Free Stanford U. Child Nutrition & Cooking Course

Stanford University is offering a free online Child Nutrition and Cooking Course. This is a good resource for moms and helpers. Take a look.

CHILD NUTRITION AND COOKING 2.0

Date: Monday, January 13, 2014

Go to Course

Platform: 

Coursera

Course topic: 

Medicine & Health

ABOUT THE COURSE

Eating patterns that begin in childhood affect health and well-being across the lifespan. In the USA, we are in the midst of a childhood obesity epidemic that threatens to leave our children with a shorter life expectancy than their parents. As processed foods become more readily available around the world, other developed nations are beginning to follow suit. This course examines contemporary child nutrition in America from the individual decisions made by each family to the widespread food marketing targeting our children.  The health risks associated with obesity in childhood are also discussed. Students will learn what constitutes a healthy diet for children and adults and how to prepare simple, delicious foods aimed at inspiring a lifelong celebration of easy home-cooked meals. This course will help prepare students to be the leading health providers, teachers and parents of the present and future.

教菲傭在冬季照顧孩子 part 2- 如何防止嬰兒在洗澡時著涼？ 林麗琼

間中會聽到僱主申訴，菲傭替嬰兒洗澡時間太長，令嬰兒容易著涼。其實，這問題是可以改善的。

1. 保持室內溫暖:  在冬季，關閉你將要給嬰兒洗澡、更換衣服的房間裡所有的窗。若家中有調較室溫功能,可把室溫調較至25-26 ºC左右。

2. 預備物品：必須準備好所有嬰兒洗澡須用之物品，才去準備嬰兒沐浴的水。若菲傭記性欠奉，僱主應叫她寫一張嬰兒洗澡物品清單，以助她每次都能預備齊嬰兒洗澡物品。嬰兒之和尚袍(若穿兩件)，應先捲好，一次穿上。

3.調校水：水温應有35-38 ºC。即使用水温度計，也必須用手肘試過水溫，才可替嬰兒洗澡。水深2-3寸，不應高過嬰兒肚臍。

4.為嬰兒檢查尿片，然後洗澡。由為嬰兒脫下所有的衣服，到用乾毛巾包裹嬰兒，時間應限制在嬰兒洗澡的為5-10分鐘內完成。否則，嬰兒有可能會著涼，皮膚也會變得更乾燥。

(僱主們也可讓看菲傭看由我示範的短片：How to bathe a baby: Arrow Instructional Videos for helpers

-僱主若想菲傭使用電暖爐，必先教她們如何使用電暖爐、應把它放在哪裡、注意事項和不安全使用時可能引致什麼後果等。

當然，孩子是上天賜給父母的禮物。父母與孩子的關係，美好的童年回億，是靠父母平日親身照顧孩子，為孩子洗澡、換片、餵奶；在傾談、玩耍等生活瑣事中建立的。我鼓勵僱主們，假如你真的太累、太晚回家或生病，才把為嬰兒洗澡這寶貴時段，交給菲傭。

只要僱主肯付出時間、耐心教導菲傭、給她們正確知識，她們能成為我們的好幫手。

註：作者乃註冊護士、初生嬰兒護理導師、嬰兒按摩師、三女之母，在精薦人才培訓中心教菲傭照顧初生嬰兒，也上門教新手父母照顧初生嬰兒、嬰兒按摩。

8 Ways to Improve your family's health and wellbeing (Hazel Perry @ SCMP.com)

The South China Morning Post has a good article (below) on 8 ways to improve their health and wellbeing.  We are including some excerpts from the text and a link to the full article below.  Everything below, except for indications of snips, are quotes from the article.

Read the article on SCMP.com

"It's that time of year when tradition calls for us to sit down and list resolutions to improve our lives and make us better people. Research from the past 12 months shows there is much Hong Kong families can do together to make the new year happier and healthier."

Get the family moving

Getting more exercise is a resolution made by countless people every year. But despite the best intentions, research suggests we aren't doing enough.

... (big snip cut out here)

To stay healthy, experts say children and young people need to do at least an hour of physical activity - such as walking or cycling to school and running in the playground - every day.

Brush up on dental health

Dental health should be a higher priority for Hong Kong families, according to two studies by the University of Hong Kong's dentistry faculty.

One study found around half of preschool children, aged four to six, showed signs of tooth decay. . . (more snipping)

Spare the rod

Most countries regard corporal punishment as child abuse. Here, smacking is a form of discipline still considered acceptable in most homes. There are countless studies that support a ban. Research published in November by the University of New Hampshire Family Research Laboratory found university students who were spanked as children were more likely to engage in criminal behaviour. Students that were spanked by both parents were also more likely to be involved with crime.

... (snip, snip, snip)

The research covered 15 countries and territories, including Hong Kong.

Don't spoil the child

There really can be too much of a good thing, according to research by City University. It claims parents who overindulge their children are in danger of producing a generation of aggressive and overconfident young people.

. . . (big snip here, better read the original article)

"Parents are giving too many things to their kids, making them feel good about themselves. Such 'monster parents' overprotect and make children narcissistic. This can be potentially dangerous," she says.

Find more time to play

Play is one of the rights of the child, according the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child. It is also widely recognised as having tremendous benefits on the social, mental and physical development of a child.

... (more snips)

"It should be physical, outdoor, unstructured play which is totally initiated by the child."

. . . more snips

Spend less time at work

Achieving a work-life balance is something families here have always struggled to get right. Part of the blame has been given to employers who have failed to create family-friendly workplaces.

A poll by the Federation of Trade Unions found that of 953 fathers surveyed, 78 per cent said they spent less than an hour a day with their families.

... (snipped a lot of research results here)

Community Business senior programme manager Amanda Yik says bosses should be more flexible about working hours so parents can spend more time with family.

Get more sleep

Late nights and lack of sleep are common but the consequences can be far-reaching and not only affect concentration but also long-term health and well-being of children, say experts.

Lack of sleep is linked to an increased risk of obesity. In a recent study by Chinese University, it was linked to spikes of high blood pressure among school children aged 10 to 18.

. . . more snips

The study concluded that parents could encourage better sleep by establishing a bedtime routine that helps children wind down before bed. This includes keeping them away from the television and limiting access to social media and text messaging at night. 

Wise up on smart devices

There is a growing body of evidence suggesting it is not-so-smart for both parents and children to spend long hours on smartphones and handheld devices. A three-year study by the department of rehabilitation sciences of Polytechnic University and the Hong Kong Physiotherapy Association found that excessive use of these devices could increase aches and pains felt by children and their parents.

Of the 1,049 people surveyed in September's study, 70 per cent of adults and 30 per cent of children and adolescents reported musculoskeletal pain from using electronic devices.

The researchers warned of posture problems such as rounded shoulders, a "poking chin" posture and degeneration of the thumb as a result of leaning over devices and texting, which would be difficult to correct in adult life.

life@scmp.com

Bath times during winter months

Your helper needs to know how to prevent the babies/kids from getting cold when bathing them.

• In winter: close all the windows in the room where you are going to bath the babies /kids and help them to change clothes.
• All the things for baby bath must be prepared well and put properly in the right place before preparing the water for bathing. It's highly recommended for employers to make a checklist of baby bath essentials for our helpers, paste it either in the toilet or baby's room, so that they are clear on what to prepare and organize the things better.
• Keep the room warm and bath water comfortably warm but not hot. If you have a bath thermometer, warm the water to about 37 degreesº C.  Or you can check the water temperature by immersing your elbow in the water. If your elbow feel that the water is warm enough, it means the water is suitable for bathing a baby
• When everything is prepared, check the diaper before removing baby's clothes. After removing baby's clothes, bath baby immediately.
• Limit the time of baby bath. From removing all baby's clothes to wrapping the baby with dry towel after bathing : 5-10 minutes only. Letting baby sit in the water for over 10 minutes is too long, as baby may get cold.
• If you want your helper to use an electric heater when bathing your baby, make sure the heater is safe to use.  It is the employer's responsibility to teach the helper clearly where the heater should be put, how to use it, precautions when using it and when should the helper should be turned it on/off.

Winter is coming, I hope all Arrows'employers are happy with our Arrows' ladies' performance. It takes time for an ordinary helper to become a good helper. As employers, we can contribute a lot in molding a good, capable and professional helper.

3 COLD WEATHER TIPS FOR HELPERS

 In winter,  employers with babies/kids often complain that their helpers from the Philippines are not keeping their kids warm enough, which results in their kids getting cold and may even necessitate a visit to see doctor. The Philippines is a country in the tropics, and most of the people there have never experienced winter.  It is normal for the helper to lack awareness about  weather change and how it may effect the health of the kids.  They naturally won't know how many clothes they should help the kids to put on before bed, when going out, or how to control the environment at home during bath time. It is unrealistic to expect them to be as conscious about this as Hong Kong people are, because we have experienced winter since birth! 

What can we do to equip our helper(s) to take care of our kids better in winter? Below are three tips to help your helper take good  care of your kids during the cold winter months.

USE THIS SIMPLE TECHNIQUE TO CHECK BODY TEMPERATURE AND ADJUST CLOTHING/COVERINGS ACCORDINGLY

Use your hand to check the nape of their neck and/or the bottom of their feet to see if the child is warm enough. The nape of the neck or the bottom of the feet should be warm to the touch. If their nape/soles are cold, then the child is not warm enough, and we should help them to put on more clothes. If the child is too hot and beginning to sweat, the maid should remove their coat or outer clothing. If the maid shares a room with your child, teach her to check the child's temperature before she herself goes to bed and if she wakes up in the night she should check the child's temperature again. Tell your helper to ask you if she doesn't know what quilts you want used on your child's bed, or if she is not sure of which clothes to use.

Clarify with your helper which clothes are "indoor" clothes and which are "outdoor" clothing. In addition teach her which clothes are appropriate for the different seasons. Before your child goes out you should have already instructed your helper as to what clothes you want them to wear. By giving careful instructions ahead of time, you will avoid misunderstanding, disappointment and  unpleasantness later on.
 

AVOID EARLY MORNING CHILLS BY ...

When the children wake up in the morning, dress them in warm clothes immediately such as: vests and jackets. Give the children their breakfast, and allow their bodies to warm up before taking off their jacket. Make sure that the children wear slippers or slip socks. Do not let children walk around barefoot at home, because when the sole is in direct contact with the ground, children catch cold more easily..

MANAGE THE CHILD'S SWEAT

During the winter the children wear more clothes and sweat more easily. Your helper should have the habit of putting a small towel or cloth at the back of the child's neck to absorb sweat. If, after inspection, they find it is wet, they should replace it as soon as possible with a dry cloth/towel. Using a small towel will keep the child's clothing from getting wet and help prevent the child from catching a chill. 

Our next post will share how how to safely bathe children during the cold winter months.

 Kathy LAM is a registered nurse and mother of three children. She works at Arrow as a coach for employers and parents.  She teaches infant care,  breastfeeding and child massage. If you would like some coaching in breastfeeding or infant massage, contact Arrow.

在冬季，如何教導菲傭照顧孩子? part 1

作者: 林麗琼

在冬季，常聽到很多僱主抱怨他們來自菲律賓的傭工，沒有給他們的孩子穿足夠的衣服，或蓋足夠的被子，導致孩子著涼。為何類似的投訴如此普遍？

由於菲律賓是一個熱帶國家，那裡的人從來沒有經歷冬天。故此， 所有新來港的菲傭都不明白季節變化與孩子健康的關係，也不知道在不同氣温、環境、情況，如: 睡覺/外出時，應為孩子穿多少件、多厚的衣服。香港的雇主，若期望菲傭能在一、兩個月內完全明白、掌握，那恐怕是不切實際的期望。

然而，我們可透過耐心教菲傭下面的知識，減低孩子們因菲傭知識貧而著涼、生病的機會：

1. 如何確保孩子穿足夠保溫衣物？

- 經常檢查孩子們的頸背和腳掌。如果孩子有足量夠溫暖，他們的頸背/腳掌在任何時候都應是溫暖的。如果孩子的頸背/腳掌是冰冷的，這意味著他們身體不夠溫暖，菲傭應該立即幫助他們加穿衣服/穿襪子/蓋被子。孩子若是太熱、冒汗，菲傭可儘快協助他們脫下外套，以防他們穿過多衣服。如果菲傭與孩子在同一個房間睡，應教菲傭在睡覺前和睡醒後，再次檢查孩子的頸背和腳掌，以確保孩子够温暖。僱主也應敎菲傭，她們若不清楚應替孩子加蓋哪張被子，加穿多少衣服/哪件衣服，應直接詢問僱主。

-教導菲傭在不同季節、氣溫下，應替孩子穿多少、多厚的衣服；哪些衣服/外套/包被只可讓孩子在家穿，哪些衣服/外套/包被只可讓孩子外出時穿等。(若孩子將會外出活動，我們應事先告訴菲傭，我們選定了哪件衣服/外套/哪張包被，這可避免僱主因菲傭準備了不合心意的衣物而引起不快/責備菲傭。)

2.如何避免孩子們早上著涼？

若早上，孩子醒來，菲傭應立即替孩子穿上保暖衣物，如：背心外套等。孩子要吃過早餐、身體暖和了，才可脱外套。後菲傭同時要確保孩子穿拖鞋/防滑襪子，不可讓孩子赤脚在家走動，因腳掌直接接觸地面容易令孩子著涼。

3.如何避免孩子們因汗水弄濕衣服而著涼？

-在冬子，孩子容易因穿過多衣服而出汗。菲傭應習慣地放一條小毛巾在孩子的頸背。若菲傭檢查孩子頸背時，發現頸背的毛巾是濕的，便可儘快替他們更換毛巾。小毛巾可以吸收汗水，減低孩子們因汗水弄濕衣服而著涼的機會 。

下次我會教僱主，如何教菲傭替嬰兒，避免嬰兒在洗澡時著涼。

註：作者乃註冊護士、初生嬰兒護理導師、嬰兒按摩師、三女之母，在精薦人才培訓中心教菲傭照顧初生嬰兒，也上門教新手父母照顧初生嬰兒、嬰兒按摩

How to stop micromanaging your helper

You hired a helper to make your life easier and better. Over managing them often leads to low morale and poor performance. If you have a tendency to micromanage others, what should you do? How can you keep it under control?

Recognize that micro-management is a strength! The tendency to micromanage others flows out of a heart that cares about how things are done. A micromanager is usually someone with a high commitment to excellence and precision; someone who believes there is a right and wrong way to do things. They want to make sure things are done well and in a proper way. That's a strength, but it has a dark side to it as well.

The dark side to micromanaging is perfectionism, domination and bullying.  No one is just like you. You are unique and special. When you try to force someone to do things exactly the same way you would do them, it can lead to emotional domination and bullying. When the person doesn't perform the way you wish, it may lead to berating and belittling them. 

How do you keep the tendency to micromanage from crossing the line into perfectionism, domination and bullying?

 First, give yourself a pat on the back. Acknowledge that you do things well, with great attention to detail. You care about how things are done and the quality of the final outcome. God made you this way. Be thankful. 

Secondly realize that you are unique and so is your helper. If she doesn't care about details with the same intensity that you do, it might be because she is not like you. She will never be able to do some things as well as you do them (and you will never be able to do some things as well as she does).

Don't insist that she gets an A+ on the tasks you assign her. Settle for a B or a B-. When I was learning Cantonese, one of my professors at CU, Mrs. Ng, worked with me after class for long periods of time to help me pronounce the Chinese sounds and tones like "ngoh" (I, me). She would make me repeat the word over and over, tell me where to position my tongue and make me do it again. Her goal was NOT that I would speak like a native, but that I would at least be understandable to a native.  Have reasonable goals for your helper. The goal should be "good enough!" NOT "as good as I could do it". 

Finally, encourage your helper for both the effort she makes and the progress she makes. Even if the progress is small, you can still compliment her on the effort. If she is really trying but only hears "M dak, M dak", then she will decide that no matter what she does, she will never be able to please you, AND she will stop trying. 

A tendency to micro-manage is NOT a bad thing, it is born out of a commitment to quality and a desire to do things with excellence. As you manage your employees, I hope you can communicate your passion for excellence without falling into the traps of perfectionism, domination or bullying. 

(the principles shared in this article were learned from a webinar on Emyth.com) 

Playful Parenting

The Children’s Play Council and The Children’s Society believe that good play opportunities are a vital part of a happy, healthy childhood. And parents have a key role in ensuring that children enjoy a rich diet of play experiences.

Playful parenting isn’t just about spending time with your child. It’s also about creating the opportunity for them to play on their own and with their friends. The following tips are from the Children's Play Council and the Children's Society.

Ten Top Tips

When playing with children it’s not what you do, it’s the way that you do it. So rather than give you a list of activities, these tips aim to get you to think about the way you spend your time playing together with your children.

1. Do give your children the chance to choose what game they want to play and how they want to do it. Forcing them to do something they don’t like, or find too difficult, just isn’t fun.
   
2. Don’t solve every task for your child; encourage them to solve the problem themselves. Doing something for a child isn’t playing.
   
3. Do remember that all children are different: some like physical energetic play, some love word games, some are born to perform and some can’t stop making things (and destroying them). So think about the kinds of activities your child likes and let them take the lead.
   
4. Don’t be a 'competitive mum or dad'. Children often say parents play to win. Learning how to lose is an important social skill, but try to keep games enjoyable and let them win too - sometimes!
   
5. Don’t be afraid to join in with your child’s make-believe games. Children love it when parents play act and it lets their imaginations run wild.
   
6. Do let your children enjoy physical challenges such as climbing trees. Children learn through taking risks. Don’t be overly protective if the worst that can happen is a bump or a scrape.
   
7. Do get out of doors and play: it’s healthier and more fun - and if they get dirty or wet, well that’s what baths and washing machines are for. (That goes for messy play indoors too).
   
8. Do let children teach you how to play with their toys or computer games. They will take great pleasure in the role reversal and telling you what they know.
   
9. Do share a game you used to play as a child, like hopscotch or making camps. Think of the things you most enjoyed playing. The chances are your children will enjoy the same things.
   
10. And finally - enjoy playing. If your child is having fun but you aren’t, just leave them to it. If they’re not having fun, suggest something else.

The tips were written by the Children’s Play Council and The Children’s Society, with help from parents and playworkers. The work was supported by the British Toy and Hobby Association The tips are reproduced here with kind permission from the Children’s Play Council.

ORIENTATION FOR NEW EMPLOYERS

Saturday March 29, 2014

3:00 - 5:00 p.m.
Wecare Center, 20/F Sunbeam Commercial Bldg
469-471 Nathan Road, Kowloon
Yaumatei MTR Exit C
 

Arrow's new employer orientation will help you succeed in to getting off to a good start with your new worker. Mark it on your calendar now. (Cantonese with English translation) to change clothes.

You will learn:

• How to improve workers' sense of belonging
• What are the common concerns of Filipino new arrivals
• How to supervise helpers' work.
• How to conduct evaluations: frequency, content, and precautions
• How to understand Filipino culture
• New helpers common problems and treatment methods - such as: borrowing money, relationships with grandparents, mobile phone use, etc.

Fee: Arrow Employers, employers' spouse and parents - free of charge, Non-arrow employers- $150 per one person. 2 people: $200, 3 people: $250

If your elderly parent will normally stay with or be in charge of the helper, please invite them to attend too. You are welcome to invite your friends (employers of helpers) to come also. 
You've invested a significant amount of money to hire a helper. Now invest one afternoon to learn how to establish a good long term relationship. Protect your investment. Register to attend now.

新手僱主班

您將了解到：

• 如何提高菲傭的歸屬感
• 新來港的菲傭主要關心的問題
• 如何監督菲傭的工作。
• 如何進行評估：頻率，內容和注意事項
• 如何理解菲律賓文化
• 新傭工常見的問題及處理方法 - 如：借錢，與僱主的父母相處，手機的使用等。

费用：精薦僱主,配偶,及父母 - 免费，
非精薦雇主: 150元一人。 2人：200元，3人：$ 250

如果您家的父母将負責監督您的家庭佣工，請邀請他们参加。也歡迎您邀请您的朋友参加。

你投資不少錢去僱了個外傭。你值得投資多一個下午，去了解如何與菲傭建立良好長期的合作關係，以保障您的投資。即時報名參加。、

Is your helper forgetful? Give her a nap

If your helper is forgetful try giving her a 15 minute nap after lunch? Does her performance slowly degrade during the day? A 15 minute nap may be the key to rebooting her brain and upping her performance.

Here is a link to a fascinating article on napping and the brain. It is backed by copious research, but written in a style that even I can understand. If your helper is absent-minded, forgetful or seems to be underperforming, why not give her a nap? What do you have to lose? We're talking about 15 min.s to 1/2 hour max. Here's the link:

THE SCIENCE BEHIND WHAT NAPS DO FOR YOUR BRAIN--AND WHY YOU SHOULD HAVE ONE TODAY

Is AND the new OR

Warning: This blogpost doesn't have much to do with hiring or managing a domestic helper.  Still, if it stimulates you to think about how you might be BOTH a firm AND kind employer, then maybe we can allow it to stay on the website a bit longer.  

I read an article today  entitled "And" is the new "Or". How often do we err by thinking "Or" instead of "And"?   OR is "AND" a cop-out because we don't want to make a hard decision? Can I be a good husband AND a good business leader? OR is it one OR the other? Does a Filipino mom have to decide between feeding her kids (by working overseas) OR nurturing her kids (by staying home)? Does a single mom have to decide between educating herself OR educating her child? Does it have to be OR?  OR can it be AND?

 Ione and I had a chat with one of our Arrow ladies who is planning on going home to take care of her son. She would like to go back to school, but doesn't know if she can afford to study AND pay for her son to study too.  Another former Arrow lady skyped us yesterday and told us that she was going back to school herself, but didn't have enough money to keep both her AND her young daughter in school.  Maybe they are right and they can't do both, but maybe .. just maybe the can. 

With one of the ladies we discussed getting her child signed up as a Compassion kid and getting a sponsor for her schooling. She could even home school if she wanted to, since she is studying to be a teacher. With the other friend, we talked about homeschooling and looked online to learn about homeschooling in the Philippines. Turns out it is alive AND well; high quality AND affordable AND sanctioned by the Education Department in the Philippines.  So maybe, just maybe, mom could home school her child in the morning AND go to school herself in the afternoon or evening. It would require discipline AND a supportive home school network AND family, but why not? 

Of course, we can always stay stuck in the world of OR where you can't do live your dreams AND fulfill your responsibilities, where it's either you OR them, and sometimes it necessary AND noble to sacrifice oneself for others. But if we begin to think AND instead of OR, maybe we will find ways, new ways to move toward our dreams AND fulfill our responsibilities to those who depend on us. What do think? Leave a comment.

Immigration Department clamps down on job switchers

Immigration is refusing work visa applications for "job switchers". Some helpers come to HK and change employers for little or no good reason. The Immigration department is going to stop issuing visas to these ladies. This is good news for both HK employers and Filipino workers. Why?

The cost of hiring a helper has risen dramatically since the Philippine government decided not to allow agencies to collect placement fees from the helpers. The cost of hiring a helper is creeping up close to $10,000 when you add everything together. HK families are willing to pay that amount, but NOT every other month. Helpers can quit with just 30 days notice and without any legitimate reason. The contract is basically "no fault". You want to break the contract, you can break the contract without any penalty. That leaves HK families with no protection. They spend $10,000 to hire a helper and then she quits because she gets reprimanded and is angry. Then the employer has to spend another $10,000 for another helper, without any assurance that she will finish the contract. 

Because there is no penalty for quitting, HK people are worried about spending so much money to hire someone who can quit because she is homesick or suffering culture shock. The financial risk of hiring a helper is just TOO HIGH. The action by the Immigration Department will lower the amount of ladies quitting for no good reason, and thus will lower the risk for HK employers. This should help stabilize the market and, as a result, in the long term, more people will be willing to hire Filipinos, resulting in more jobs and more money to remit back to the Philippines. .

Below is the SCMP article:

"The Immigration Department is refusing work visa applications from foreign workers deemed to have cut short their contracts too often or without legitimate reasons. 

The Immigration Department is refusing work visa applications from foreign workers deemed to have cut short their contracts too often or without legitimate reasons.

The department said this in a statement last night amid public concern that some foreign domestic helpers were switching jobs to earn severance pay by terminating their contracts before the two-year work period was up.

The department said it had refused 45 applicants who were suspected to be involved in such abuse in the past two months.

It also said employers who were found to have exploited their domestic workers would also be denied applications in the future to employ foreign domestic workers.

Joseph Law, chairman of the Hong Kong Employers of Domestic Helpers Association, said some domestic workers were known to have colluded with employment agencies to get greater benefits by prompting their employers to terminate their contracts soon after they arrive.

He said the department should spell out how many changes of employer by a worker would constitute an abuse of the system.

"Once any foreign domestic helper is found to have changed jobs without a legitimate reason, the Immigration Department should consider, say, stopping processing her employment visa applications for six months," Law said.

So many good helpers

We have over 60 (SIXTY!) applicants on our website, and the great majority of them have overseas experience. It's a great time to hire a skillful, loving, trustworthy Arrow helper.

主妇控虐佣不认罪

Saw the following article in the Eastern Post. If you don't read Chinese, try google translate to get an idea of the content. It's about an employer charged with abusing her helper. 

（八打灵再也16日讯）一名家庭主妇今日在八打灵再也地庭，否认在上周致伤及虐打其印尼女佣。

被告蔡英凤（译音，40岁）被控虐待一名30岁的印尼女佣玛丽亚，把该名女佣当奴隶一样对待，並强迫女佣工作及暴力对待她。

她是在2007年《反人口贩卖与外劳走私法令》第13条文下被提控。一旦罪成，她將面对最多20年监禁或罚款。

蔡英凤也被控蓄意致伤其女佣，包括殴打及泼女佣热水，造成其女佣面部、头部、胸部、耳朵、背部及腿部受伤及灼伤。

以上罪行，蔡英凤將面对刑事法典第326条文的提控，一旦罪城刑罚为最高监禁20年、鞭笞及罚款。

2万5保外候审

她被控于本月8日，在梳邦贝斯达里诺瓦U5/84路一间民宅，犯下上述两项罪行。

法官罗兹娜允许她以2万5000令吉，加上一名担保人担保下，保释就审。惟，她必须交出国际护照，以及每个月到临近警局报到，并不准骚扰受害者及本案证人。

法庭也裁决此案于9月2日，重新过堂。此案的副检查司是拉雅查凡，被告代表律师是吴律师（TH Goh），罗沙阿兹敏律师也代表印尼大使馆，出席聆听此案。

The amazing all natural cleaner you already own

Baking Soda: The Amazing All-Natural Cleanser You Already Own

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