Self Care for You and Your Helper

School has started, life is CRAZY! And to make matters worse your helper is making rookie mistakes and giving you "dark looks". When times get crazy it helps if we and those around us have some "self-care" habits. I know this sounds crazy when your kids are young, but I still remember coming home from work, and to be greeted by my wife and baby. My wife handed me the baby and said "I'm going riding" or "I'm going shopping" or "see you later". She needed some time to herself, time for self-care. In Hong Kong we rarely get that. We are all working just to stay afloat. And yet, if we're going to last we need to take some time (even 10-15 minutes a day) to care for ourselves.

What do you do to "self-care"?

Your helper also needs time for self-care. Some employers expect their helpers to work from 6 a.m. to 10 p.m. with no personal time built into the schedule. The average adult needs 7 hours of sleep per night, so that gives them exactly 1 hour to shower, check in with their families, read Facebook, etc. Many helpers are mothers and have young children they would like to check up on, but by 10 p.m. at night their children are ALL SOUND ASLEEP. So they worry, struggle with home-sickness, think about quitting as a way to stop all the negative emotions they are experiencing.  

Besides adequate sleep & food & a full day off, your helper needs some time for self-care. Here are some suggestions you might want to discuss with her.

• Exercise: you would be surprised how many helpers are up early and start their day with 10-15 minutes of aerobics or yoga.

• A good breakfast with a few minutes to read their phone

• A 15-20 min break in the middle of the afternoon where your helper can check in with her children

• adequate sleep

• reasonable curfew on their day off (9- 10 p.m.)

At Arrow our goal is to help our customers Find and Keep a good helper. We tell helpers that our goal for them is to help them Find and Keep a good job. Self-care is essential if you want your helper to stay for the duration of her contract and then renew again and again. 

I'd love to hear your feedback. Have a great day. Take good care of yourself!

All the best,
Allan @ Arrow
What's app: +852 6191-0376
allan@arrowes.hk

PS: Pay it forward: Arrow will give a 5% discount to friends you send our way to find a helper. Just tell them to drop your name and ask for the 5% discount.  

How to Keep a good helper: be generous with food, especially rice

When I arrived in Hong Kong in 1988 one of the first greetings I learned was ¨Sik faan mei a?” 你食咗飯未呀. It sounded so strange to my Western ears, because I grew up in a place where there was (in my lifetime) was always plenty to eat. I didn’t know much about the history of China or the famines that sometimes ravaged the land. When I understood the context I began to appreciate what a warm caring greeting this was. If a friend asked me “Sik faan mei?” and I said “not yet” - they would invite me to eat! In the West people don’t show this kind of practical care because our “How are you?” is almost always answered with “I’m fine, thanks”.

Filipinos like Chinese are also very concerned about whether someone has eaten yet. No matter how poor they are they will do everything they can to make sure you eat a lot of yummy food. And unlike HK people, Filipinos eat a LOT of rice. They eat rice with every meal. Their fast food shops serve whatever (chicken, burger, etc.) with a side of rice. Their engines run on rice.

One of the main reasons some helpers quit their jobs is because they are hungry for rice. They feel “hungry”! They may be getting enough calories, but they feel hungry because they are not eating rice. They can easily eat rice for every meal with a smattering of meat and veggies.

TIP # 1: How to keep your helper: Buy them a rice cooker (or give them the keys to your rice cooker) and an 8 kg sack of rice every month to supplement their diet.

This is a very small investment to help protect the larger investment you made with agency fees, air tickets, quarantine rooms, etc.

At Arrow our goal is to Help You Find and Keep a Good Helper. If you would like to know more drop us a note or leave us a comment.

4 Things to Do Before You Say "You're Fired!" OR Before Your Helper Resigns

Is your helper starting to lose heart? to drift away? Does it seem like she is not as committed to you and your family as she used to be? Are you thinking that maybe you should replace her before things go downhill even more?  Replacing a helper is expensive, takes a large amount of energy and doesn't always improve things. Before you say "you're fired" try these 4 things first:

Demonstrate concern

Ideally, you should have regular meetings with your helper. Sit down at the kitchen table, have a cup of coffee and take a few minutes to ask "How is it going?", "Are you getting enough food? rest?"  "Do you have any concerns?" If you notice a downhill trend in her performance you could ask, "Lately you seem more absent-minded than before. What's going on? Is there anything you want to talk about?" Be patient and give her a chance to share. Filipinos are fearful about complaining so you need to be open, non-defensive, and ready to listen OR she will clam up.

Provide Extra Training

Most helpers have worked overseas in other countries before, but the standards for hygiene and cleanliness do not compare well with Hong Kong. Good training will involve the following steps:

1. Demonstrate how you want something done.
2. Let them do it while you observe and correct their technique until they do it up to a basic acceptable standard.
3. Set a time goal for how long the work should take, e.g., cleaning the bathroom should normally take 30 minutes. Don't expect them to work fast in the beginning. Focus on doing the work right, then gradually doing the work quickly. NOTE: There is no point in having time related goals IF you constantly interrupt them and call them away to do another task.
4. Regularly inspect to make sure quality control is maintained and the new standard becomes a habit. 
5. Show appreciation for new skills. Filipinos love to hear "well done!"

Hong Kong has many classes available for helpers on Chinese cooking, infant care, etc. You may want to consider investing in your helper and sending her to outside training. She'll appreciate it and you will enjoy the dividends of your investment. Arrow offers classes through I-Care Family on Child Safety, Infant Care, etc. 

Improve the Work Environment

One lady recently contacted me asking if she can quit after one week. She is eating the leftovers from the evening dinner (after everyone else has finished), sleeps on the sofa, works long hours AND the employer nags and criticizes constantly. I asked her what one thing she'd like to change and she said "the nagging and criticism". Some Hong Kong employers create a hostile work environment and then wonder why they have such bad luck and cannot keep a helper.  

• Does your helper has some breaks during her workday to catch her breath and relax for a few minutes?
• How many hours a day does she work? If she is up at 6 a.m. and off at 10 p.m. that is a 16 hour day. Does that seem reasonable or humane? 
• Does she have time to herself and time to contact her family?
• Does she have adequate privacy?
• Does she enjoy a full day off every week? 

Be flexible and allow change

If your approach to supervising workers is "my way or the highway" then don't be surprised if your helper doesn't finish her contract. Filipinos come to work in Hong Kong because they need money BUT they finish their contracts only if they are happy with their work situation. An unhappy helper will easily quit, money or no money.  A little flexibility in the how the work is organized and carried out can help you retain a good helper. Do you insist that she do the ironing at night after washing the dishes? Your helper believes this will give her arthritis and that you have ill intent toward her. Allowing her to do the ironing at another time in the day will show that you are flexible and sensitive to her concerns. Helpers want to work for employers who take their concerns to heart.

Hiring a helper is the easy part, learning to manage a worker from another culture is a huge challenge. At Arrow we have a goal: Help our customers FIND and KEEP good helpers. If your struggling in your adjustment with your new helper, try these 4 suggestions before you terminate or she resigns. 

God bless! Happy Chinese New Year!

NOTE: I stole the basic idea for this post from an article in The Economics Times entitled "Five ways to deal with a disengaged employee".   You can read their article here.  

Arrow 11th Anniversary Video

When you hire a mother

Most of our customers are couples expecting their first or second child and they naturally want to hire a woman who is  "married" and "has kids". So it is no surprise that most of Arrow's helpers have children under 18 years of age.  I conducted a short poll on our webpage and more than 90% of the respondents have children under 18 years of age. Our poll targeted mothers, so pure singles did not respond. Still, we know that great majority of helpers deploying through Arrow are mothers. I began thinking more about this after one of our helpers resigned her job. Her employer liked her very much and she also liked her employer. She resigned because she had lost touch with her 12-year-old daughter and felt that she had to go home and check to make sure her daughter was okay.  I began to ask myself "what effect does the Hong Kong work schedule have on mothers who have left children behind in the Philippines? Is there anything an employer might do to help them keep their family ties strong? Have you ever thought "My helper is also a mother - when does she talk to her children?" "How does she keep her family ties strong?" Here's what we've learned - 

How often do you speak with your kids?

Exactly 1/2 of respondents connect with their kids every day. They use Facebook messenger, Skype, Viber, etc. Some ladies I know get up at 4 a.m. daily to talk to their kids before they leave for school. They then go back to bed for a while and arise again to take care of their employers' children. Their commitment is amazing. The fact that 1/2 of respondents can contact their kids every day is, I hope, an indication that we have customers who are sensitive to the needs of their helpers and flexible enough to give them time each day to call their children. I wish I had asked the question "How often would you like to speak to your children?" I wonder about the other 50% - would they speak to their kids more if they could?

Most respondents connect with their children on a daily basis

What is the best time of day to contact your children?

Most respondents (87%) told us that the best time to contact their kids is between 6 a.m. and 10 p.m. Only 13% would prefer to talk to their children from  10 p.m. - 6 p.m.  Unfortunately the prime times for helpers to contact their children are also busy times for employers and their children. The helper who takes good care of her employer's children may end up losing touch with her own kids.

What should I do? 

The best time for your helper to talk to her children is during work hours... so what should you do? If you are super strict and won't let her contact her kids during work hours then she may lose touch with them. If she loses the connection with her kids - the chances of her resigning will increase. So what should you do?

Talk to her about her family needs

Discuss this issue with your helper? Ask her "When is the best time for you to talk to your kids? 2nd best time? 3rd? How long do you need to talk to your kids every day? 15 min? 1/2 hour? etc. Tell her what will and what won't work for you. If you agree to a time during work hours then make a clear agreement with her about when she will talk to her family and for how long.  Afterwards occasionally monitor the situation and if you find she is not keeping to the agreement remind her about the agreement she made and tell her you that you expect her to abide by your agreement. 

If your helper is able to keep strong ties to her family, then she will feel confident to continue working here in Hong Kong. If she has an employer who remembers that she too is a parent who loves and needs to stay in touch with her kids, then she will stay loyal and will hopefully continue to serve your family for many years. 

It's time to say "Thank you!"

         "In everything give thanks" 
         

Recent research affirms what we all know to be true "grateful people are happier, less depressed, less stressed and more satisfied with their lives and social relationships." (Wikipedia)  We would all be more happy and healthy if we imitated Pollyanna.

Pollyanna is the young heroine of a famous children's book, Pollyanna by Eleanor Porter. When her mother dies Pollyanna is sent to live with her wealthy, but sour aunt. Pollyanna has developed a philosophy of life that focuses on gratitude and staying positive. She always plays what she calls "The Glad Game." The glad game is simple: find something to be glad about in whatever situation you face. One Christmas when her parents were still alive, the local church allowed the family to choose a present from the missionary barrel.  Pollyanna was hoping for a doll, but the barrel held only a pair of crutches. Her father made up the glad game and they decided they could be glad, because they didn't need the crutches. Pollyanna developed a habit of gratitude that not only helped her but changed those around her.

I am grateful to God for all the wonderful customers and friends he has given us over the years. I'm grateful for the helpers we have helped find work and for the positive changes we've seen in the lives of many of them. I'm grateful for our Arrow team, who everyday serve with heart and mind. Our office is a cross-cultural mix of Americans, Hong Kong Chinese and Filipinos. We have learned so much from each other. It is a privilege to go to work with this team. Sometimes it is so fun, it doesn't seem like work at all. I'm super grateful for my wife Ione, my daughters Jen and Colleen, and for my grandson, Ethan.  I could go on and on, but now it's your turn. Who and what are you grateful for?

Please come and join us in giving thanks to God this November 23rd. Please let your Arrow lady know the details and encourage her to attend. It is good to give thanks.

Allan is the CEO and founder of Arrow Employment Services

Allan Smith, Arrow

HOW TO CONDUCT AN EMPLOYEE EVALUATION

   中文 

Many of us hope that our domestic helper will eventually become a "member of the family". Although we hope to have a good, close relationship with our helpers, it is also important to remember that they are employees and we are employers.  At Arrow we talk to employers every week. They give us feedback on how the helper is doing. Most employers (including me) do not regularly sit down with our employeesand do a "job assessment".  Instead, we allow little "irritants" to build up and finally "lose our temper" over some relatively minor offense. It would be much better if we set aside some regular feedback time (once every two weeks for the first two months; once a month after that). 

Establishing a "feedback habit" will ensure that    

• you and your helper are moving in the same direction,
• will help them to understand your goals and priorities, and
• will establish a regular forum for communication

Before you do an assessment you need to be clear: What do you hope to achieve?  Clarify expectations? Communicate your priorities? Give performance feedback? Encourage? Listen?                                

I did some homework (on the internet at ehow.com) and found some good tips on how to do an employee assessment.  Here is what I learned:                       

How to Conduct an Employee Evaluation 

Step  One : Write a simple job description
Be sure that your employee has been given a job description and knows what he or she is being evaluated against. Write a job description and use your first meeting to discuss and modify it as necessary. It is okay to say"I'm sorry I didn't give this to you when you first started working for us. I was too busy, and I know it wasn't fair to you, but now I want to let you know clearly what our expectations are. I apologize for not doing this earlier."  We suggest you keep your job description to one page only. Some employers are "big picture" kind of people who say "I want the house clean and tidy". That is okay, but please describe a bit more about what you mean by "clean and tidy", so they know the standards you are aiming at. Other employers tend to "micro-manage", and list 15 steps to complete each job.  Whether you are "big picture" , "micro-manager", or somewhere in between - make sure your DH has the resources (time, supplies, money) etc. to do what you are asking them to do. They are responsible for the work, but you are responsible to "enable" them to do the work in a timely way.                                                                                 

Step  Two: Employee Self-Evaluation
Give the employee a blank copy of the evaluation form and have  her evaluate/rate herself. You will need an evaluation form. The evaluation form should reflect your values and priorities. Here is a simple example: 

Rate yourself for 1-5, 5 being the highest and 1 the lowest:

• Housecleaning ______
• Marketing _______
• Cooking _______
• Laundry ________
• Childcare _______
• Carwash ________
• Communication________
• Attitude _______
• Carefulness/Thoughtfulness _______
• Other: ________

If punctuality is important to you, include it. Personalize the evaluation form, but keep it simple.  Allow the employee to "self evaluate" first, then you can agree or explain to them how you view their performance in these areas. 

Step  Three :  Set up a time and place to meet so that you'll have privacy and quiet. 
Take your helper out on a Saturday morning to a "dai pai dong", have some breakfast, and talk about her performance in a friendly and positive way. You want her to succeed!                                                

Step  Four: Leave adequate time. 
Set aside at least an hour, even though you might not need it.  You've spent the time and money to bring your helper from her home country to Hong Kong. By investing  a little more time for feedback, you will increase both your and your helpers productivity tenfold.                              

Step  Five: Have a clear goal 
What do you hope to achieve via this evaluation time? Do you want  to improve theemployee's performance? establish new performance expectations? focus on one specific area? receive feedback? 

Step  Six:  Dialogue. 
Avoid doing all of the talking. Ask questions and let the employee tell you how they feel and what they need.   You might want to ask, "What can I do to help you succeed at your job?"They are responsible for the work, but you are responsible to "enable" them to do the work by providing the supplies and time necessary. You are also responsible to make sure that they have adequate food and rest. Arrow employers have a reputation of "caring for their employees".  By listening, caring and accepting feedback, you will find that your employee will work much harder to please you.                                      

Step Seven:  Help them relax. 
Do your best to put the employee at ease, or anxiety will keep her from hearing what you say. Let them know that you plan to do this regularly, that this is a mutual feedback time and not a "judgment". Let them know that your goal is to establish good positive communication, increase your teamwork and to help them "succeed".                                

Step Eight: Start and stay POSITIVE.   
Avoid focusing only on areas that need improvement. Every employee wants and needs to be praised, so spend just as much, if not more, time describing what he or she is doing right. This is crucial to keeping a good employee around! Your helper has left her family and home country to come and serve you. If all they ever hear is negative feedback, they will probably decide that the money you are paying them is not worth it. 

In my limited experience as an employer, I have come to understand that "appreciation is more important that money." Employees, all employees, want to be appreciated and they would rather work in a low paying job where they are praised and appreciated than in a high paying one where they are regularly  criticized. Your DH is no different. Your positive feedback is more important to her than a $1000/month raise. 

Take time to sit down with your helper and do a "job performance evaluation". Stay positive. Do it regularly. If you do this well, you will avoid a build up of negative feelings, increase your worker's productivity and happiness, and your whole family will experience greater blessing as a result.