Terminated: Filipino perspectives by Dr. Jorge and Bolen De Ramos (guest author)
*Terminated!*
Terminate - Pronunciation: \tər’-mə-nət\; Function: *adjective*; Etymology:Middle English, from Latin *terminatus,* past participle of *terminare,*from*terminus*; Date: 15th century*:* coming to an end or capable of ending
In Hong Kong this word means ending a job contract. Domestic helpers in HK would sometimes use the phrase, “bababa na ko” (I’m descending) – a metaphor for leaving a place of employment.
The word “terminated” is particularly used when a household worker is fired from her job. Otherwise the worker would say, “I broke contract” –more Filipinese, “*nag break contract na ko*” - indicating a resignation.
We regularly encounter terminated workers. Their stories as well as reactions and attitudes vary. Most are bitter and dejected, while some would be surprisingly happy about it. But terminations are generally an unpleasant experience.
The reasons for terminations vary as well. Most of them will cite poor performance as the culprit. But there are more reasons than mere job mediocrity.
We received a call from M*, one of our active members in church. She was asked by her employer to pack up and leave the house hastily, before the child wakes up. She placed everything she had in a sack (she had just disposed her suitcase with the plan to buy a new one). Upon receiving the required documents and termination pay, she was instructed to leave quietly.
As expected, she is confused why this has happened. Her employer had no qualms about her work; M* knew the routines and standards of her employer’s home well. And to confound the matter, the termination happened on the eve of her last month with her employer.
Sorting through the incident, she concluded that the reason is with her growing intimacy with her employers’ toddler. For the past two years, the child has spent most of his waking hours – and even sleeping hours, with M*. The mother has typically been busy with her work that she has become virtually absent. Naturally, the toddler became more inclined to his caregiver than to his mother. Thus the employer, in order to avert the situation decided to fire M*.
When J* was terminated, her employer says it was poor performance. Later on, we learned that the termination was a way to keep the man of the house getting entangled with an attractive house help.
R* has already worked for four months and then she was terminated. But she finds herself at peace with what has happened. It was a better option than staying on. Although she speculates on the seeming failure of her higher purpose as a Christian; she sees herself as an agent of God’s blessing to her employer. She had been somewhat warned that her employer is hard to satisfy. Equipped with determination and faith, she took it as a challenge. She persevered through weeks and months of unreasonable demands and irrational behavior. She took consolation on God’s promise of presence and her sense of mission. She constantly prayed for the ones she worked for. She did not give up, but her employer gave up on her. Nevertheless, she is moving on with optimism that God will set her on another household where she can still be an agent of blessing.
Those who were terminated leave their place of employment, bitter and bewildered. Most will break down at the announcement. They would think of the money they spent to have an overseas job. Some even have loans to pay on their placement fees. They ask themselves, "is this what we get for leaving our loved ones and spending all the money we had?" To most of them, the dejected feeling would bear down on their already-tattered self-esteem.
Those terminated commonly need two things immediately: a place to stay and an ear to listen. These two needs have become an essential part of what a minister among the OFWs (Overseas Filipino Worker) here in Hong Kong has to offer.
God has blessed us to live in a flat with an extra room. This flat has become a place of refuge for those who have been displaced by termination. Often times, tired and weary they would over sleep on their first night – catching up on much needed rest. And then much time of their waking hours will be spent talking to someone they trust.
And by the Lord’s grace, Bolen and I would have the faculty to listen. By listening we observe that they go through a typical emotional cycle of a grieving person. This graphic I downloaded from the internet accurately represents the emotions the terminated go through. So we journey with them as much as we can through the cycle, punctuating it with prayers , God's Word and with quiet times of reflection.
Arrow Employment Services also do their part for these people. Arrow assists the terminated in finding a new employer for them. They also coach them on their rights and privileges. Most agencies would have nothing to do with the terminated. Besides their services given only up to the point when they are placed.
This model is adapted from Kubler-Ross’s grief cycle.
Please do continue to pray for us that we -not only for Jorge and Bolen- but for all of us who serve OFWs - that we may be channels of God's grace to those who have been terminated.
OFWs spoil their kids
Below is a link and an excerpt from an interesting news article about OFWs spoiling their kids. It is difficult for OFWs not to spoil their children, because they feel guilty over leaving them to work abroad. As a result, they over compensate, and spoil the kids, giving in to their every whim. How can a worker avoid this "spoiling syndrome"? By sitting down with the whole family and having a clear financial goal, e.g., "We are going to save 200,000 pesos and buy a house. Until we reach that goal, all other expenses will be kept to a minimum. Do we all agree?" One of our 2010 goals for Arrow is to implement financial counselling for the families of OFWs before they come to HK. If we can achieve this goal, we think it will make a big difference in their lives.
PHILIPPINES: Belt-tightening by Migrant Workers Unfelt at Home By Tess Bacalla*
BATANGAS, Philippines, Dec 18 (IPS) - The global financial crisis may have dealt a severe blow to Filipino migrant workers, thousands of whom lost their jobs and fell into debt. But public schoolteacher Melinda Mendoza does not see this impact at all -- at least not within the four walls of her classroom.
On the contrary, Mendoza, 45, is bothered no end by her pupils’ ostentatious display of opulence in a poor rural setting, where luxury is atypical.
"They have huge allowances," says the teacher of 21 years in the government-run Pulong Anahao Elementary School, located in the town of Mabini here in Batangas province, a two-hour drive south of Manila.
On top of that, the students own electronic gadgets like mobile phones that are no match to those of a public school teacher like Mendoza. She earns a measly few thousands of pesos a month, hardly enough to buy a high-end unit that is a status symbol in this South-east Asian country, at least 30 percent of whose 90 million people live in poverty.
Baby monitor analyzes baby's cry
Saw this Crying Baby Monitor and Analyzer on a Christmas gadget gift website. Goofy or fun, you decide.
“It’s okay, the baby is only crying out of boredom.” If you can believe this interesting gadget that claims to be able to differentiate between a baby in distress and an angry baby then this might be a well spent $99 ($75 on Amazon) for any new parent.
The Why Cry Baby Analyzer baby monitor uses frequency analysis technology to tell if your baby is stressed, sleepy, annoyed, bored or hungry. Who needs a wise old grandparent to teach you about child rearing when you have gadgets like this?
How to prevent child abuse by your helper
I found this article on the web and was impressed by the general wisdom in how to maintain a good relationship with your helper, so that she doesn't develop emotional problems. I hope you'll like it as well. The author has a number of articles on child-rearing and motherhood. Please click on her name to see her other articles.
Tips For Preventing Child Abuse by a Domestic Helper by Elaine Lau
"In today's world, as we are often too caught up in the rat race that we tend to have no time left for the seemingly mundane details of life, such as household chores. That's when we are getting increasingly dependent on foreign helpers from maid agencies to manage our households.
However, the way we manage domestic help is an area that we cannot afford to neglect. Seen videos of maids kicking poor, helpless children like they hate them wholeheartedly? We can pretend all these do not exist and sweep the ugly truth under the carpet, but well, it's the harsh reality. It makes one wonder how can one abuse a child with no defences? The child abuse issue is most probably, not just skin-deep.
Here are some pointers for child abuse prevention from your domestic helper to avoid such unfortunate incidents from happening:
- Lots of patience for cultural and language differences. Remember that our domestic helpers come from very different backgrounds as us. Be patient and guide them through the norms here. Do not be surprised if your maid might mistake a spittoon as a washbasin! Try to stay calm and composed in all situations, even if you are exasperated. Try to think from her point of view.
- Communication. Communication is essential in all relationships and hence, it's critical that you be an understanding employer. Treat your employee with sincerity and if she will return it in kind, she will communicate her worries and fears to you and in turn, you can offer her advice or help to solve some of her problems so that she can focus on her work. Lack of communication can lead to many problems, including pent-up frustration and anger.
- Reasonable amount of workload. They are not cogs of machines, which we only assign work to. They are after all, humans too. Find out what amount of work is your helper comfortable with on a daily basis and give her some allowance for breaks as well. Find out her strengths and weaknesses and work around them.
- Acceptance. Money aside, bear in mind that after all, it's your family that she's taking care of, not hers. Her motivation will come from the fact that she's serving a family that treats her well and accepts her, just like one of them. Bring her along with you for supermarket shopping and build the bond. Use the opportunity to teach her more about the local culture and food. Most importantly, it's best to nurture a good relationship with her so as to build up understanding and trust.
- Sufficient Rest for Work-Life Balance. Allow an off day per week for your maid to rest. Leave her alone for a day to do her own activities, without loading her with the frazzle of the daily chores. If you are worried about her leading astray outside by mixing with the wrong company, perhaps you can bring her along on your weekend family outings.
- Lay down ground rules. Set some rules that you expect her to abide by, by letting her know the dos and don'ts in your household. Remember that you are the one in control of the fundamental rules, without abusing your authority.
- Understanding. Be alert if your maid seems a little unusual from her normal self. She might be unwell or troubled. Give her the necessary support she needs, for example, seeking medical help or advice.
- Anger management. Pent up emotion can lead to extreme anger. Poor control over your emotions can lead to you abusing your maid, whether it's emotionally or physically. If you or anyone in your family is experiencing this problem managing anger a constructive manner, do seek help before it gets out of hand. Try not to drive your maid up the wall, even though she's driving you up the wall!
- Be alert. Notice any subtle changes in your helper or child, for example, body injuries. Listen to what your child or elderly member in your household has to say about your helper, instead of brushing it off. Sometimes, small issues can snowball into big ones. Take preventive measures if you find something amiss.
Hopefully, these child abuse prevention suggestions will be helpful for making living with your domestic helper more pleasant. It's often so easy to forget the things that we take for granted in our lives. Do not forget to thank them for their great help! Such cases can be reduced as there is more often than none, underlying psychological issues behind every seemingly negative action."
Helpers: touching the lives of children
Here is a link to a blog written by a young woman who, as a child, was so influenced by her domestic helper, that now she is actively involved in helping children as a way of life. Click through the link and read her post. Enjoy!
ourney.Through.Life
By Lois
Did I not also first learn about Jesus and praying and God when I was in primary school from mydomestic helper? She was such a big influence in my life, teaching me to pray on a daily basis. Had a dream that day of little kiddos ...
The sun will rise again - http://loisloved.blogspot.com/
It's not worth it!
Don't even think about paying your maid (no matter what nationality she is) less than the minimum wage. People in HK sometimes collude with unscrupulous agents to cheat Indonesian maids. Don't even think of it! Here is what happened recently to someone who did that:
Hong Kong (HKSAR) - An employer of a foreign domestic helper was fined $90,000 at the Tsuen Wan Magistrates' Courts today (November 23) for underpaying wages to the helper. The prosecution was initiated by the Labour Department. "Employers of foreign domestic helpers should not pay their helpers below the minimum allowable wage stipulated by the Government.
Under the Employment Ordinance, the maximum fine for underpayment of wages is $350,000 and imprisonment for three years," a spokesman for the Labour Department said. During the foreign domestic helper's employment period, the employer failed to pay wages according to the minimum allowable wage as set out by the Government at the time of signing the employment contract. The total amount of outstanding wages was $39,300.
According to Section 23 of the Employment Ordinance, wages due upon expiry of the last day of the wage period must be paid as soon as practicable but in any case not later than seven days thereafter. "Employees, including foreign domestic helpers, who are owed wages should promptly report to the Labour Department, assist in investigation and give evidence to protect their interests," he said. The spokesman urged employees who were owed wages to call the department's complaints hotline on 2815 2200.
Fear
I love the question "What would you do if you were not afraid?" The answer, in most circumstances, is exactly the right thing TO DO!
"I would tell my boss, that this project has a fatal flaw."
"I would break up with my boyfriend."
"I would go back to school and get my masters degree."
Many of us consistently make decisions based on fear, rather than decisions based on hope or faith.
Employers who are thinking of replacing their helpers usually ask me to promise "not to tell the helper". Of course, we will always protect the employer's confidentiality. When I ask "Why don't you want to tell her?" the answer usually begins with "I AM AFRAID..."
"I am afraid she'll harm my child."
"I am afraid she'll spit in the soup."
"I'M AFRAID!"
What would you do if you weren't afraid? Why not try doing that? We sometimes hear back that an Arrow lady has been given a visa to go to Canada. If I ask the helper, "Did you tell your employer about your plans, so they could arrange for a replacement, the answer is always the same. "No way!" I then ask, "Why not?" Can you guess the answer?
"I AM AFRAID!" Afraid of what?
"Afraid they will fire me out."
"Afraid they will do something to harm my visa application."
"I AM AFRAID!"
What would you do if you were not afraid? Try doing that, it is probably the right thing to do? Why don't we take the risk of trusting the other person? Of believing that they are a decent human being, who will not "spit in our soup", "injure our baby", "attempt to ruin our dreams of going to Canada".
What would you do, IF you were not afraid?
Remarkable Wisdom
A young man came into my office today to sign a contract to hire a helper to care for his new baby. What was remarkable was:
He is hiring a woman over 40 years old, and is enthuiastic about her abilities and maturity.
- He told his current 24 y.o. helper that he will terminate her. The young helper immediately began to smile, and the relief she felt was evident. The employer told her that he will do what he can to help find a better situation, one that fits her abilities. With his support, the young lady already has some prospects. She is happy and will stay with the family up until the new helper arrives.
There are no perfect fits, and most helpers, given a fair chance, can learn your ways and fulfill your requirements. If you've given her a fair chance, and she still can't work to standard, then perhaps your helper is a bad fit for you. In that case, it is not a crime to change to another helper. If you need to do so, there is no need to keep it secret. I have had helpers tell me "I saw some profiles on their computer, so I had a good idea they were going to terminate me. It's actually a relief." If you are a "square peg in a round hole" helper, you will know that you are not the right fit for the job, and you will feel out of place. So why not just tell the helper, give them your support, and let them find a situation better suited to their abilities and personalities.
I was wrong!
Well it won't be the first or the last time, but I was wrong. I messed around with our replacement policy, and scared away new customers. I was wrong. I've changed our policy so that if reflects the "TRUST" we have in our customers. Arrow customers don't change helpers like they would a set of clothes. Our employers are the best in Hong Kong, and they deserve a generous replacement policy to protect them, in case their helper doesn't work out. We have corrected our policy, and we won't mess around with it anymore.
Allan
What do babies think?
I heard this fascinating audio podcast about research into "what do babies think?". It the English is difficult to listen to, then you can listen as you read the transcript. If you have a baby, this latest research is fascinating.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=112481229
Food Allowance Increased from $300 to $740 per month
From Asiaxpat.com some good news for helpers:
"Domestic helpers have something to smile about after 26 years - their food allowance will more than double for new employment contracts signed from today.
But their salary will not be increased.
The food allowance will jump from a minimum of HK$300 per month to HK$740. The allowance will be paid by employers who do not provide their helpers with meals.
The increase is the first since 1983.
But the "minimum allowable wage" remains frozen at HK$3,580 a month. Most employers pay the minimum, but there are reports that some maids, especially Indonesians, are underpaid.
"We welcome the increase in the food allowance because it is long overdue," said Eman Villanueva, spokesman for the Asian Migrants Coordinating Body. "But it is still not enough. The minimum wage freeze is actually a denial of the wage increase that we have been clamoring for since our pay was cut in 2003."
Union leaders said foreign helpers took a pay cut of HK$400 in 2003 after the SARS crisis devastated the economy.
The government said yesterday that the helpers' salary was set after a review that took into account "Hong Kong's general economic and employment situation."
This was "reflected through a basket of economic indicators, including the relevant income movement, price change and labor market situation," it said.
The government said it made the decision to raise the allowance after considering consumer price indexes changes.
But the administration believes most employers will not be affected because they provide their maids with food.
The minimum monthly food allowance was set at HK$100 in 1973, doubling to HK$200 in 1978 before rising to HK$300 in 1983.
The minimum wage was last raised in July last year by HK$100 to HK$3,580."
感染新型流感的菲傭傍晚病逝
Found the below article about a 37 year Filipino who died from H1N1. This is a great tragedy for her and her family. H1N1 has everyone on edge, so much so that recently employers have been asking us to hold new arrivals for 1 week to quarantine them before bringing them to the employer's home. This practice is problematic, because the only place for them to stay during the week is a boarding house in a room with 6-10 other Filipinos. What if your helper is perfectly healthy but one of the other residents of the boarding house is sick. Your helper may be exposed on day 4, report to your house on day 7, and get sick on day 10. If you are going to isolate them, it would be better to isolate them in your own home. Isolating them is a boarding house probably increases the risk to your family, rather than lowers it.
感染甲型H1N1流感情況危殆的三十七歲菲律賓女傭，延至今日傍晚病逝，當局會化驗確定死因；死者上月廿八日抵港，第二日喉嚨痛及輕微發燒，今個月七日出現嚴重肺炎，入住聯合醫院深切治療部；月初一名四十二歲菲律賓海員，感染抗藥性金黃葡萄球菌後病逝，衛生署其後驗出死者亦感染新型流感，相信是全球首宗雙重感染致死病例。
另外，本港過去一日增加一百五十三宗新型流感，涉及七十七男七十六女，年齡介乎四個月至七十五歲，病例總數增至二千八百五十五宗
Terminating an employee
I wrote a new article "How to Terminate an Employee". We don't encourage employers to terminate employees, but let's face reality: these relations don't always work out. If you reach the point where you need to terminate your employee, do it well! The work relationship can be ended in an amicable way. We are currently translating into Chinese. We welcome your comments.
上月底來港菲傭染新型流感情況危殆
商業電台 - Hong Kong
本港確診多58宗甲型H1N1流感，病例總數增至1236宗，新增患者中，一名37歲菲律賓女傭情況危殆，是本港第二宗新型流感嚴重病例。衛生防護中心總監曾浩輝說，這名菲傭上月廿八日到港，同僱主住在觀塘，僱主第二日帶她驗身時發現發燒，到本月七日病情轉差，再到聯合醫院求診，...
查看此主題下的所有報導
India Trip
I'm in India for the week (June 16-20). Pastor Andrew Pang and I are visiting a friend and building some relationships with local pastors and churches. The place I am staying has internet access in the a.m., and you can also drop me a note via sms to my cell phone. The computer here doesn't handle Chinese, so please send any emails or notes in English. Thanks.
Allan Smith
Our New Home
We created a new home on the internet for Arrow. The address is the same, but the website is different. Our new site features the helpers first of all. There are page numbers on the bottom of each page, so navigating the website is much easier. I have been told that it may take a full 24-72 hours for the internet to correctly point http://arrowes.hk to this new website. If you have found your way here, well... congratulations!
Back from the Philippines
I, Allan, arrived back from the Philippines on Thursday. Wow! We have a great new batch of helpers available now. We'll try to have all the scores added to their profiles by Monday or Tuesday. Quite a few have already been hired, so if you are interested in someone please don't hestitate to call and ask about them. We are willing to hold a candidate for 24 hours only. Otherwise it is "first come, first serve".
我是Allan, 剛於星期四從菲律賓返回(香港)。你看, 我們現在有許多幫手了. 我們會於星期一或星期二把他們的積分加於他們的個人檔案中.他們當中已有少部分人被僱用了.若果你對這些傭工有興趣的話, 請不要猶豫. 你們可主動與他們
我們願意為你於24小時內留住你的心水雇傭, 不然, 則先到先得了。
我於星期五失了聲. 我尋找了許久都找不著是什麼原因。我都不知道怎樣於星期日開聲說話,
但我知道神會為我開路的。如果你想跟我說話, 你需要多加忍耐並把你的說話盡量說得簡潔:-) 謝謝
Tips on choosing a helper (scroll down for helper profiles)
當你雇用一名家傭時, 有 3樣東西是很重要及你需要知道的：
1.你自己：你有時間和耐性去訓練一名家傭嗎？如果你有，很多女傭，即使他們沒有海外工作的經驗都將會是合適你的。如果你對你家傭有很高的期望或你沒有足夠的時間或耐性去訓練一名新的幫手, 那麼我相信曾在香港或新加坡工作過的家傭將會比較適合你。你需要知道你選一個家傭的優先條例！在看簡介之前，你可列先出你的優先要求，例如第一托兒 #2 烹飪 #3 打掃。
2.家傭：比較年長的女子處事比較成熟，她們往往能適應一些比較複雜的家庭。一些年輕及已婚的女傭比較常出現思鄉及丈夫方面的問題，這情況多出現於35歲以下的女士。菲律賓人傾向生活在一起他們喜歡像大家庭一樣。因此, 很多單身女子都有托兒和兒童看管方面的經驗。很多大學畢業生都有心到加拿大裹工作，但不是全部都能這樣。很多卻願意來港工作。你需要認真地跟他們談談這些問題，要求他們承諾能完成他們的合約。
3.代理商：沒有完美的雇傭, 雇主或代理，但是很多人會選擇來到精箭, 因為我們對我們的顧客給予很多的關顧。
當事情不能實踐時，我們會盡全力以一種不會令雇主有太大負擔及損失的方式來解決這些問題。
你也可以向我們詢問你可能對其感興趣的女傭，我們將給與你有關這女傭最好的評估和他們的工作能力, 務求令她們能「適合你」。當我們有空的時候, 我們將公佈更多有關這些女傭的相片和錄像。
當你讀一段簡介時，不忘記按一下「繼續閱讀」鏈結看那申請者的分數。
There are 3 parties involved in hiring a helper. It is important that you understand all 3:
- Yourself: Do you have the time and patience to train a helper? If so, many of these ladies are suitable, even if they do not have overseas experience. If you have high expectations or you don't have enough time or patience to train a new lady, then choose someone with Hong Kong or Singapore experience. Know your priorities! Before looking at the profiles list your priorities, e.g. #1 childcare #2 cooking #3 cleaning.
- The Helper: Older ladies are more mature, and able to handle complicated families. Some younger married women have more homesick problems and problems with their husbands, than do women who are 35 & up. Filipinos tend to live together as large families, so the singles often have a LOT of childcare and infant care experience. University grads may have ambitions to go to Canada, but not all of them do. Many are content to work in HK. Talk to them honestly about this, ask for their commitment to complete their contract.
- The Agency: There are no perfect helpers or employers or agencies, but most people come to Arrow because we give a high level of care to our customers, and when things don't work out, we do our best to resolve the situation in a way that doesn't put too big a burden on the employer.
New Applicants available
I've put information about our new applicants online. I will add others later today. We have less people than expected, but those who have come to the training seem like quality people. We'll give you our assessment of their abilities later in the week.
Here are some photo highlights from Day 3. The training center asked one of our teams (4 ladies) to clean an old house, that they were using for storage. Think junk and spiders and dirt! Although the place still needs a paint job, take a look at the pictures and you can easily tell which are the before and after pictures.